Christmas

This year has been great, lots of ups and downs as usual for me.  As we come in to the holiday I still am up in the air about gifts and what not.  I know I will be shopping Friday.  I am always last minute.  Just excited to be here.  Want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

Dumbfounded

I have been asked to think about going into business with someone.  I was blown away that they thought of me in this endever.   From what I was told I could make around $360,000 a year.  I am blown away because that is a lot of money and also that I have been asked.  Also this would actually free me up to do other things.  I have a lot to think about.  I will be after Christmas before the talks start.  I guess we will see.  Things will be interesting.  I have a lot of thinking to do and praying.
guess we will see what my life holds.

I'm Back

I took a short trip to go play cards.  It was an awesome time.  I finally won some money at that casino.  I hit for $1000 on Mississippi Stud turned $25 in to $450 on the slots.  Met a man who made $12000 on Craps.  But if all that being said.... I gave all my money back.  Oh well.  But as I said I won so I was able to play and play and play and play.  Per my calculations of the points I got I turned around $10,000.  So as you can see I had a great time. Drunk a many a beer,  played a bunch or cards and just acted like a man for a few days.  Good thing about all this is.  My buddy and I are already planning our next Man trip.  We are going to try to make it a once a year thing.  Well back to work.

Just typing....

So this week I am on schdule to set 7 houses.  The before Thanksgiving rush.  Happens every year.  But if all goes well this will give me a great Christmas bonus.  So there is no time to slow down.  Super jealous of my wife tonight.  She is at the Carolina Panthers ball game.  I know she is going to have a blast.  And I have a date night planned with my girls.  It going to be a great night.  Lastly I am gearing up to go to the local casino for some WSOP.  Yes super stoked about this.  I love these trips and also get to lay some cards.  Might even pull a few levers while I am there.  Peace out!

Breaking Through

I have recently posted about the depression I have been facing.  I have broke through all that though.  I am on top of my game and paln on staying that way the rest of the year.  I have a field trip Friday and I have poker after Thanksgiving.  We will see how all this goes.  As for all of you.  I hope you are doing well!!

half and half

I think all this depression has been from my constant checking into the political scene.  Also left over touches on the Matthew hurricane.  I feel some better today.  Only time will tell what all is going on I guess.

Down

It is taking over my mind and body.  I have fault this depression for some time.  I am mentally strained and worn out.  I have tried to overcome it.  I have tried to work it all out.  But it is overtaking me.  I am mentally and physically depressed.  I have fault it and fault it.  I will overcome it but it is really driving me down at this time.  I have to overcome.  I will overcome.  I am in a battle!

Nice Break

This weekend was a nice break from the norm.  My parents where in the mountains and we had the whole farm to ourselves.  Now we did miss them don't get me wrong but could just do and not worry.  The stew fest was awesome.  I always love sitting around with the fire dept guys and talking, learning, comparing, you know straight guy talk.  It was just an awesome day to fellowship.  Saw so many friends and family.  Everyone "loves" me and "misses" me.  People really do care and truly miss us.  It felt so good.  We didn't win which was fine.  Just being there enjoying the fellowship was so worth it. After the stew fest I climbed my tail back into bed and went to sleep.  I was tired from all the beer I drank the night before and being up at 5am.  This is not my norm.  I got a good nap and then woke up to go burn the hole and drank beet with my BIL.  We hung out for a while and then I went back home and back to sleep.  With the time change being Saturday night I felt real good Sunday morning.  My wife went to church and gathered up our kids that had been staying off Saturday night and I stayed home to get a jump start on the house work.  I washed clothes moved the cooker, brought the tree over from the shop went to the store.  Cant remember what else I did but I did a lot to get jump started.  After all the girls got home we started to rearrange the living room so we could get our tree up.  We deep cleaned the living room and cleaned the Guineas cage.  We moved to the kitchen and on trough the house.  After getting the majority of it all done I asked my wife if I could go to the shop.  Of course she said yes.  And I started back on the 2nd wall.  I am proud to say the 2nd wall is laid out ready to be nailed together and then erected.  Still have a ways to go but after talking to my wife I think I may be close to finish framing in this week.  It feels it has taken me for ever. and it has.  But I have done it all by myself so thats where the time comes in.  having to rig up so one end of a board will stay while you nail the other board and so on.  Either way back to work for me.

WOW!!

Welcome Welcome,

I would like to welcome my readers from France and Canada.  Wow  I would have never thought I would have readers form other countries.  I cant imagine what in the world I you all would think was interesting about my blog but I am very excited about this.

Now to continue with what I was going to blog about.  This weekend.  It would seem I live for the weekend but this is untrue.  I actually feel i stay so busy that the weekend is just a day at the end of my work week and another start into a new work week.  This weekend is no different however I am doing something that you all know I love to to.  Cooking!!  This weekend I will cook approx 15 gallons of Brunswick stew for a minor competition in a town close to mine.  This will be I think the 4th  or 5th year I have done this with my current partner.  This year we are going to tweak the recipe a little.  It honestly makes me a little nervous but I know we will pull it off either way.  So this is my Saturday morning.

Oh! my baby girl gets to go on her girls night out Friday night also.   She is super excited about this.  I have been joking with her about how I am going to take her place.  Of course with this being a "girls" night she says I cant.  So sad LOL.

Now on to the shop.  I have finally gotten one wall up.  Now I may have mentioned this before.  But my goal this weekend after the Stew Fest is to get this other wall built and up.  If I can do this I will probably start on the kitchen.  Either way I finally see progress in the shop.  And hope fully I can have it all finished by March other than some painting.  We  will see.

Again Welcome to my new readers.  Post a comment.  Ask questions.  I look forward to see where this blog goes!!

Well.......

The weekend was grand.  Girls party went off with out a hitch.  The trunk or treat was awesome.  And I finally was able to go through the haunted house.  Now the weekend was also bland.  I laid in bed most of Sunday and a lot of Saturday.  I am sick.  At least that is what my nurse says.  She can not pin point what is wrong but says my body is fighting off something and that's why I feel the way I do.  I have to agree with her.  I do not feel the best.  I am clammy and think I am fighting off a fever also.  I am sweating constantly and have light headiness.  My nerves are bad also.  I am nervous for why I have no clue.


With all this being said the major thing that is bothering me is I am horny.  I am really horny.  I have had sex twice in a year, I think it is.  So I feel a little bit of me is dying inside.  And theres nothing I can do.  Well I guess I could do somethings but I am trying my best to be a good boy.  I have not said anything or acted anyway or done anything that would be considered wrong against my wife in a long time.  I do not plan on doing anything wrong either.  Although I do believe I have had a few offers. But I will stand strong.  Wow, that just made me think about something.  Guess we will see what happens.  If I had any thoughts of doing wrong I do believe I could fulfill one of my fantasies this week.  Oh, I might just fantasies and masturbate tonight.  LOL LOL Good grief I will be a good boy!! I will be a good boy!!  I will be a good boy!! I will be a good boy!!

Funny thing, I am sitting here coughing and sweating and its like 68 degrees in here.  Yep I am sick, If not phisically I am mentally Peace out!

It begins

And so the weekend begins.  We will see what it will hold.  Peace our Blogging world.

Overcome

Just so overcome with things.  First of all, All the flooding has gone down.  Our office was spared by about 1 inch from what we could tell.  So close.

Today I shook hands with a contrator that will not be working for us anymore.  Long story just hate to see him go.

I have been trying to write this post for about 2 weeks now.  Any way.  Life goes on.  Big plans this weekend.  We will see how it goes.  Probably will run into people I use to know.  If that makes any sense.  I will carry on with life I guess.  Just blah.  A little on the depressed side.

Nothing new or exciting.  No sex, No drinking, No exercise, NO life really.  Just here

Survival

We survived the storm.  Wasn't to bad on the farm.  Of course now the water is rising up around everyone and there is more damage to come.  We lost at least 10 pecan trees and once its all said and done I think we will have about 15 that has to come out.  I hate that.  I really do.  But more than that I hate all the people that are displaced by this flood.  In 1999 we had the flood of the century.  A flood that is only suppose to happen every 500 years or so.  This one may be a few inches deeper.  The amount of water dropped was unbelievable.  So many swift water rescues so many lucky people to be alive.  The scanner was non stop.  Water in places water has never been before.  Now its time to watch as the river slowly overtake everything in its path while knowing there is nothing you can do.  Just watch this large body devour half the town in a slow agonizing kinda way.  Oh we were without power for only 3 days I think.  So that's was not bad at all.

In my personal life I am just here.  Just struggling to understand why I am here.  One day I will be something.  One day I will matter.  One day, I may be dead, but I will be appreciated.

Past, Present, Future

Past

Well the costume contest went great,  We didnt win but everyone loved the costume.  A little boy wearing a kissing booth won the contest.  It was a great costume.  In fact there where 4 great costumes there in my opinion.  On top of all that we will be sending our daughter on a "girls night out" We won the winning bid on it too.  What a great night.  We also where able to get 2 movie baskets, a grilling basket and a kitchen basket.  I also got jokingly hit on my probably my favorite teacher.  Finally!!  She took long enough.  Then Saturday I labored all day picking up limbs then going to another auction and my nephew one a $500 gift certificate for a gun.  I then went home with 6 females.  Needless to say I jetted lol.  I got on the tractor and rode till 2;30 ( I was out of fuel) then church on Sunday.  What a super great weekend.  It was so awesome!

Present

I am so sore.  I think a combination of picking up limbs and riding the mowers so much.

Future

Matthew is coming.  It is going to bust NC wide open!  Ugh I am dreading this.  Lots of work to do.  I am preparing to be with out current for a week.  We went without current one time for 9 days and with out water for several days also.  I will be prepared.  Beer and Cigs for sure.  We will see what happens.

peace out blogging world

Weekend of non stop enjoyment

Just wanted to step in and say what a great day it is.  I got to go with my daughter to the prayer around the pole at school.  Was awesome to see the ones who come out and support that school.  Its funny to me that so many will support one school but seem to not be associated with the other.  But that's their problem not mine.  Did some running around this morning and made it to work.  Tonight is work on my daughters costume night.  UGH, I hope I can pull this all together.  They both won last year so the pressure is on for this year.  I feel that we have a winning idea just have to put it in to realty.  The costume contest starts Friday at their Fall festival.  This is always a great time.  This year we sold enough tickets that the wife only had to buy a few to get our daughter on the limo ride.  Also we are planning on betting on an auction item.  This item has a history of going for quite a bit of money. I guess we will see what happens.  But to actually start the conversation as to the title.  We have the fall festival Friday night, then of course it will be time to drink beer and mow trees afterwards.  On Saturday I have requested some help to pick up tree limbs so I can mow closer under the trees then on Saturday night we have the local Fire Dept fall festival,  So Saturday will be packed.  Then of course there's church on Sunday morning and then me probably trying to finish the mowing on the farm.  I have busted my ass this year to keep our place looking good and I feel i have succeeded so far.  Peace out Blogging world!

Speechless

Just have nothing to say.  Like I am out of things to talk about.  Nothing exciting happening.  Just here.

Just plain tired.

I am just worn out.  I have ran hard for a while.  I have got to get away.  Some how some way.  I will get away

Plans??

I am going to do something that goes against my whole person.  I know I have said it before and I sill say it again.  I do not make plans.  But I am going to make some for this weekend.  My plans consist on drinking beer.  That is first and foremost.  The next plan is to build the bathroom in the shop.  I have changed my thoughts on this area about 5 times.  But I have made a final decision.  Maybe.  I am just going to build a 8x8 bathroom with a top to put storage on.  If I can get this built then I can start on my kitchen.  It is cooling off now and I am not sweating my ass off like I was.  So thats my plan.  Build a bathroom and drink beer.  We will see how it goes.

I hope to have butcher block looking counter tops and to have the bathroom wrapped with old pine siding from my grandmas store.  This is the goal.  Ill update an the progress next week.

Just wanted to say life goes on.

So Much

Work, Home, Friends, Family, Kids, Play.

All these things make up a day, a week, a month.  Its crazy the time we spend doing things.  I mean all of us.  We all have the same hours in a day.  Tonight you should look back at your day and ask yourself what did you spend time on today.  Was it worth it?  Did you do something for yourself?  Did you do something for someone else?  Did you waste your day away not learning anything?  Did you learn something that you can take with you to another day?  Did you make sure you showed love?  Did you hurt someone?  What did you do?  Think about it.  We all have the same time in a day.  Did you sue yours wisely?

These are just some of Biggers thoughts.

Secondly I just want to say I am trying.   I am trying so hard.  I hope I can continue.  But it is so tempting.  I guess time will tell.  But it would be so easy.  Like its just there for me.  At any point in time.  Just there for the grabbing.  Stay strong Bigger Stay Strong.

Life

What a great labor day weekend.  We worked our tails off.  Friday night was a little hurricane party where we cleaned some.  Saturday we cleaned the kitchen.  I mean cleaned the cabinets and all.  The Kitchen is very clean.  We followed up by going out to eat with some friends.  I always love spending time with certain people.  People of the same accord, Im sure you know what I am talking about.  Sunday was church then straight to my inlaws for a get together then home to clean a little more then I left and went and played cards.  Was a great night there also.  We sang karaoke till 3:30am.  It was too late to be out but seeing my old friends was so worth it.  I got home at 4 and went to bed. I was back up Monday morning and started pressure washing the deck.  It took all day I finished around 8 that night with a few stops in between to bring my daughters desk in to the house and to eat supper that my wife had cooked.  She is a great cook.  Just over all it was a great weekend.  I think back to a lot of things I didnt even put in this post.  But I will say that it was very productive and fun.  On top of all this I have been trying to really suck up to my wife and I think I might actually get to have an orgasm tonight.  This may sound weird but its been 7 months since we have done much.  But you have to keep in mind what I did to her.  So I am learning patentice.  When you are in love you will do this.

Sick

I think I might have the flu.  Im not coughing but I have every other sympton other than the stomach issues.  We will see.  I can lay in bed all Saturday during the storm anyway and I have plenty of shine and honey.  We will see.

Weekend

This past weekend was great.  We had a small back to school party for my oldest girl on Friday night.  She had 2 of her friends come over and stay.  Of course I was on the tractor till late.  I kept seeing the head lights of the golfcart.  They where having a blast riding everywhere on the farm late late.  I started mowing again on Saturday and mowed off and on till 4 am.  I was able to get the 3 fields bushhogged and the deer lanes and the back of the farm and mow the pecan trees.  I was one tired ass come Sunday morning.  I went and helped my brother in law cook for our fourth Sunday meal and then went to it.  After that it my wife and I carried my aunt to the urgent care for her back.  My wife got home later and we went and got my aunts car and carried her and her car to her house.  She was so grateful for what we had done.  Then it was get ready for school time,  While we where at the urgent care my mother and sister cleaned our house some.  I have the best family ever!

Just a quick catch up on my life.  Nothing exciting just life.

School

Yep it all started today yay

YO!

Well my girls start back to school Monday.  So now my summer vacation is over.  I am going to miss sleeping in and starting late but thats just how it goes.  I also am thinking about seeing if I can be voted in as a member of the school PTA.  I had someone tell me last night there would be a postion open and I think I want to get more involved in school.  We will see.  I think it would be a good thing.   I think I have mentioned the planter, potter table I made for my mom.  I now have an order to build another.  I hope I will be able to build a few and sell them to make some extra cash.  I started bush hogging last night to get ready for deer season.  This is going to be a job.  The biggest part is that we did not have the lanes mowed this year.  (The grass nor the tree limbs)  But I will get things done.  I always do.  My oldest daughter now has a queen bed and our old dresser and I am mounting her tv on the wall this weekend.  We will be able to finish her room.  My baby girls will now has bunk beds and we are painting the old desk to go in her room.  My friend told me to make sure I primed the desk first.  Did I listen to her?  Nope and now I am regretting it.  But with 2 more coats of paint I think I will be close.  It will be pink to match her vanity.  All and all things are coming together right nicely.  After today they should both have a new wardrobe and we have had all there school supplies for a week now.  I am going to buy the flute for my oldest tomorrow and we should be done.  I guess.  We may not have no food in the house but we have clothes and school supplies.

Couple of side notes.  I have recently heard of someone leaving there husband.  I mention this because I had a dream lost night I was protecting her.  It was wild I had my gun drawn and every thing.  What made me feel good about this dream was I had another guy right behind me convering my back.  His gun drawn also.  I think a lot of this guy and I know he would have my back.

Other side note.  Recently my wife was told about a married man texting another woman.  It has brought up all her old thoughts and I understand why.  I will just stand beside her and wait this out.  Life will go on thats for sure.

Last note.  I am constantly changing all my plans I have.  I now want to build a small man cave before I do the chickens.  Who the hell knows what I will do first.  I sure dont.

Everyone have a great weekend.

Later
Bigger

Just bored

Nothing much going on just checking in.  Hope you all are well.

Mattress

looking a new mattress for my daughter that is all

Life

Just checking in today.  I mowed trees last night and drank beer.  Yes it is one of my favorite past times.  I am getting excited about this weekend when I get to see Eric Church in concert.  This past weekend was great cooking the hog for the wedding and seeing all the family.  Got a call this morning from a friend and they booked their flight to go with us to see the city of all the lights.  Super excited about this.  I think him and I will burn that town down.  Ive been working my ass off but it is paying off.  Everything hits at once.  I think this is what it is like in most jobs.  Everything is so exciting and fresh and great.  My wife and I are redoing my oldest girls bedroom.  She is getting a full size bed and our dresser and desk and what not.  She is excited about starting middle school.  Me on the other hand, I am having old daddy problems.  What happen to the time?  Where did it all go.  Oh well.  Life will not be stopping for me.  We just have to make the best of it and I feel thats what I am doing now.  I read about healthy things every happy couple does and my wife and I are doing them.  Our morning snuggles, our late night kisses.  Our building things together.  Its pretty awesome.   I havent played cards in a while but since I think my wife will be gone friday night I might just sneak out and play.  We will see.  I might work in the shop since it is finally cooling down.  Who knows.  I still fly by the seat of my pants.  Just wanted to update you all.  I hope the blogging world is doing well.  Im going to get back at it.  Work that is. I have a lot of driving to do between now and tomorrow night.  Peace out!

One thing I like.......

Dirty girls and I think I might know one.  Or 2.

Ready

I'm getting ready for a boot stomping, hell raising. beer drinking good time.  Love weddings that do not consist of me getting married lol.  Ill be cooking the hog and prepping the food table.  I'm just ready to dance and drink.  We will see how all this goes.

Side note:  there are some job openings at some local resturants.  My wife said I should apply.  My response was I couldnt let my current job get behind.  She said I could work weekends.  She said there is no telling how far I could go.  Im thinking and praying on it.  I think I am going to reach out to an old friend of mine who worked there and see what she thinks.  I am so wishey washey.  I think I will have an answer soon enough.  In Gods time.

Furniture

I picked up an awesome piece of furniture today.  It is kinda a, well I dont know how to explain it.  Its old and made of cedar and has 2 drawers but all so has a hidden compartment.  Not only was it at a decent price but I also got 20% off.  Very excited about this strange piece.  I think my wife and I can breathe wome new life into it.  And I have a perfect idea for the hidden compartment.  Its funny how I had decided I was going to have to build a piece like I wanted but low and behold I found one.  Just goes to show you patience is key and keep hunting and humping and searching.  It will all come to you in the end.

running

All these thoughts running through my head.  Just a lot going on with work and my kids.  I got one that is sick and feel I need to be at the Dr appointment but cant be.  Other than that things are good.  Just working and pushing forward.  Life is so great!

Things are great

What a great weekend.  I will start with me picking up my girls on Thursday night from camp.  Oh it felt like they had been gone for a long time.  We also picked up a friend of ours daughter and just listening to there stories was great.  Friday was a great day at work.  I got a raise!  Friday night my sister had a small accident and I helped her for a few minutes.  She left the water running in her sink all day and it overflowed.  But they are getting everything fixed as of today.  After I helped her I got on the tractor and mowed till 2:30 in the morning.  Then I took a shower and went and helped my brother in law put on 5 prok shoulders for a party.  I stayed with him till 4am.  We played cards and just had a great time.  Then I went home and got a quick nap.  Up again and my wife and I and my youngest girl went to town.  picked up some things to help decorate there bedrooms.  My oldest daughter had stayed off and we went and picked her and her friend up to stay with us.  My oldest daughter wasnt even home 24 hours before leaving again.  Either way my wife cooked lasagna for us and my parents.  There 35 anniverary is today.  On Sunday we went to a birtheday party ot the water park and then to out back to school party for church.  When we got home I went and mowed grass around the shop and finished the sandbox and cleaned in the shop some.  This morning I woke up early and just laid in bed and held my wife.  It was so peaceful and nice.  Just an awesome weekend and a great start to my week!

BBQ

I haven't taken a day off in a while.  But now I need 2 days off.  Im hoping to go fishing next week for a day and then at the end of the week I am cooking a hog for family.  I got to thinking about everything that has to happen next Friday and I think I am going to take the day off and up my work load for my family.  Anything I can do to take some stress off of them will be greatly appreciated I am sure.

Last night I heard from my baby.  My youngest is having so much fun.  My oldest is tied up in all the drama.  Whats new right?  But they are having fun and I am so grateful for the leader of that camp.  She is an absolute angel who puts herself through hell to make that camp happen.

On a random note I do not know if I have mentioned this but my wife and I are cleaning out our kitchen cabinets.  We have been eating everything at the house and not buying food.  Last night we had chicken sausage fettuccine.  You wouldn't believe how good it was.  Just had to mention that.  My cooking skills are on point!

Peace out Blogging world.

A call from the floor

Just got a call and they said, "wish me luck I am about to hit the floor."  What floor you may ask.  The casino floor.  Thats right, one of my buds is gambling with out me.  Oh the excitement that wells up inside me when I think about all those long drunkin nights.  It wont be long and I will be back!!  Gots to make money.  Need to give it away lol.  Back to work!

Side note.  I got a little ;-)  (wink face) today.  It was awesome.  Love when two people are on the same page.

Freaking out

I was left with the business last Friday.  I was not told what money we have or what I could buy.  I am so freaking nervous about this day.  I was able to hold off everyone's checks but one.  And it was a big one.  I have written the check and its all over now.  I do not know if the check is good or bad.  I just wrote it on a limb.  UGH!  I am putting my plan in place now to be able to work for my self.  It will take me a few years but I will make it!  I know there will be no less stress but at least I will be in control of it all.  I will not have to feel responsible for so many families and there survival.  Either way I have T minus 3 hours before I have a cold beer in my hand and getting ready to ride the tractor.  I know all this stress is not just work related.  I also have a large personal payment due on Monday that I am approx $600 short on.  But I have always been able to make my payments and I am still holding on to hope I make this one.  It is a draft and if I do not have the money in the bank I have been told that they will keep hitting my account until I do have the money.  So worst case is it will have to be made next Friday.  I just hate to make a payment late if I can help it.  Honestly this is the hardest position I have been put in for a long time.  I have got to figure out where all my money has gone this year.  Things where moving along great then I hit this wall.  Got to figure all this out.  Either way I will enjoy my night, me and my John Deere and my Beer.

avoiding subjects

I intentionally avoid subjects on this blog anymore because I do not know who may or may not be reading this.  Its kinda an open thing and in the past I had someone to tell someone else that I had a blog.  Well now I do not know if I can put all my dark deep secrets on here.  I have entertained the thought of doing another blog and just starting form scratch again but I have a bunch of views these days so I hate to leave people hanging out that have been following me.  But in the same token I wonder who it is that is looking at my blog because I am getting very few comments.  When I sit back and think on it there is no telling who has told who about this blog so I guess I will remain quiet.  I was going to talk about sex.  However I will keep it all to myself until I feel comfortable to put it on here or start over.  Ill stop on this note, I WANT SEX!

BOOKED

My trip is booked and we are going with an awesome couple.  Its still a ways off but not to early to plan and get excited.  Kinda gives me something else to look forward to.  I cant wait to see those glistening lights and breathe that night air.  I plan on a 72 hour binge!  I think I can pull it off.  I will try, that's for sure.  Only about 2 more days of me all up here in a bind here.  Then I will be relived.  Cant wait.  Got to do some mowing but its so freaking hot.  I might mow tonight.  I like to mow and drink beer.  Yea I think that might be what I do.  Hope the blogging world is doing well.  Peace out my friends until I blog again!

Struggling

This week is going to be something else.  I have all ideas I will acquire a few gray hairs by the end of the week.  All I can do is keep moving forward.

To lessen the stress of this week I have set a goal.  To be honest I think it is an impossible goal to reach.  In fact it may be the hardest goal I have ever set. So  I have till Sunday night to reach this goal.  I will keep you all updated if I reach it.  If I reach this goal I will be all smiles.  Just because.  We will see.

Just a great morning!

I was able to sit and talk with my oldest daughter this morning while listening to the thunder in the distance.  It just made for a great start to my morning.  After she left I got in the shower and just relaxed.  I let the water beat down on my back and head and took time to clear my mind and hear the water actually hitting my skin.  This may sound weird to some of you but to become so still and in time to the hear the water hitting your skin is just so relaxing.  My mind was clear and I was at peace.  After my zen shower I got dressed and headed out.  I stopped at a local drive threw restaurant and saw this hot young chick waving at me from her side view mirror.  I new the vehicle but thought that chick is way to young to be who I thought it was.  And of course the window came down and a threat was hollered to me from her.  I busted out laughing.  It was who I thought it was.  When I pulled up to the window I found out she had paid for my breakfast.  So sweet.  It was nice.  I decided to return the favor and pay for the lady behind me.  Just an act of kindness so maybe someone else day could be just as great as mine.  Today has been a great day.  It is now lunch time and still is a great day.  I think this day will continue to be great.

LOVE YOU ALL
Bigger

Hummm

That was interesting.

SIDE NOTE

I really want to build my chicken coop.  But I promised my self I would not until the girls swings where done.  And I am currently building things for my niece and nephews and my mother.  This is why the swings are not done.  But the guinea pigs we got have been keeping my girls busy as of now.  And it is so freaking hot outside.  Anyway I am thinking of names to name my coop.  This keeps me settled while I wait.  I am thinking "cluck you" or "Cackle Shack"  But really want to use a Band name or song.  Still thinking.

Changes

Ever day I plan things they get changed.  This is why I have never really plan things.  I might plan a trip to somewhere but that does not mean the things I do on the trip will be planned.  Just sayin.  I do not plan on supper for the night.  I do not plan on weekend things.  I just go with the flow.  I always have things I want to do but I never plan.  Because to many times I have planned things others have screwed it up!! Just sayin!!

I want to go somewhere.

I really want to go on a trip.  I think I want to go to Disney World.  I need some money.  I am working my ass off trying to save.  I think its time for my wife and I to take a trip by ourselves.  I would like to go to the Food and Wine Fest in Disney.  Just trying to decide on things.  At the same time I want to pay off this debt and flip houses.  If I could flip some houses Disney would be no issue.  So I'm stuck, Kinda.  Just going to keep working my ass off.

Side Note:  I am almost finished putting together my nieces play house.  It is a small prefab from Sams.  After that I plan to build a boat sandbox for my two nephews.  Super excited about it.  Then after that I will be building a planting counter for my mother and starting on the loft in the shop.  My Mom showed me a picture of a planting counter she wanted that had a sink and a window pane in it.  I was able to buy these things this weekend for $8.  I love junk shopping especially when I see it as a nice master piece.  I might post some pictures once I am finished.  We will see.  Hope the blogging world is doing well.  Peace love and happiness to you all.

Bigger

What a morning (Late posting this)

Lets start with my night.  I went to a local race track with a couple of guys and watched a race.  I didn't get home till 11:30 last night.  As I figured there where 3 people in my bed so I was forced to the couch. I didn't sleep at all.  I am still coughing so much and just do not sleep.  I awoke many times from all my coughing and I have cramped my side from all the coughing.  It hurts pretty bad if I turn the right way or cough today.  So this morning I got up and got ready, Carried the girls to the summer sitter and took off to work.  I was to meet my father to go look at a couple of houses on a dealership that has been closed down.  Ever one always calls us to clean up there mess LOL.  So I get there of course I'm in my flip flops, shorts and my beach shirt.  My normal apparel for work.  I am greeted by a well dressed gentleman.  I shook is hand spoke and we walked to the house to be looked at.  While inside I noticed that there was a customer inside.  We sent the customer to one of our other locations and continued looking at the first house.  Then to the 2nd house.  That is where I learned that the gentleman that shook my hand was the owner of a house manufacturer.  Interesting I thought.  Why would he be here?  Then I learned that the other guy was a sales rep.  Was very confusing as to why these two gentleman where showing us these two old houses.  After talking and conversation It was noted by the sales rep that we are a volume dealer and even though there are 2 other people looking at these houses they both would like to see our company get this location.  That's when it all started to come together for me.  See as I have said before we are a well known company in our business.  Not because we want to be.  We would rather fly under the radar.  Make our money and just live life.  But when it all came down to it.  This manufacturer wants us to buy this lot and carry his product.  Its amazing that these opportunities fall at our feet like this.  Just makes us feel good about how we do business and how we are perceived in the eyes of our competition and manufacturers and also out contractors.

Should I or not

I feel a change coming.  I just do not know if I want to take it or not.  I have fears, concerns and thoughts.  Is it the best for me?  Or not?  All these questions and no answers.  Im just going to ponder I guess.

What am I?

I think about my life and wonder what exactly am I?  I think about my friends and the people I associate with and wonder.  What am I?  How do I fit into this social thing of life?

Just last week I went and had a business conversation with a Dr.  I also hung out with a hot school principal.  At the same event I spoke with a county commissioner.

I am always around Dr.s, know some real good lawyers, business owners and I am asked opinions from these people on things that I would think they might would know.  My opinion seems to matter to these people on certain things.  I brush it off as them asking the lower class opinions on matters but I don't think that is the case.

Where do I fit in?  I have half or less of the education of most of these people.  But yet I am invited to things.  I am treated like one of them.  I am talked to like I am of the same class as them though I feel mush lower.  I just sit back and think.  What in the world?

Then I think about my poker life.  I have played with millionaires.  I am so far form a millionaire that it is pure funny.  I have played with guys that are spending there last dollar trying to win more money. Between poker and my social life I have a wide array of knowing people in all areas.  How did this happen?  Is this normal?  Do others know people as I do?  I mean do you ever just go out and have a beer with a Dr?  Or a lawyer?  Or a poker bum?  Do you get called to take trips to Vegas?  Do people call you to ask questions?  Just confusing to me because I still consider myself to be redneck trailer trash.

Some things never change

I laughed at myself today when I realized what has happened again.  We hired a guy to take care of things at one of our lots.  He is doing good don't get me wrong.  But I was handed the trash file yesterday and asked to clean it up.  Of course this always becomes my job.  I guess somethings never change.  I can handle it.  In fact I have things working on it right now.  I just laughed because I am trusted with things that I guess are the important things.

Anyway.  Playhouse has been done for sometime now.  Just needs a little trim finish but I ahve started on a lean to for the side.  I had hoped to have it ready or shingles tonight but I have abusiness meeting tonight.  So we will wait till Thursday or Friday I guess.

Other than that life is grand!

I wonder

I have quiet a few questions in my mind.  I wonder?  I guess its time to research some things.  This is going to be interesting.  To say the least.  We will see what comes out of it all.

OK

Didn't want to say anything yesterday but I felt like hell.  Still not sure exactly what it was.  It wasn't a hangover but may have been.  I guess I just need to watch my alcohol intake for a little while or something.  Either way I feel much better today and dont feel like I might die.  Hope all is well in the Blogging world.  Chat with you all later!!

Great weekend

I laugh at myself sometimes on things I do. Just had an awesome weekend.  That's all I have to say. Things are doing well and I hope the blogging world is well also.  Prayers for our country.  People get very confused on matters and blame things on everything but the source.  Its all the devil.  Our fight on this earth is not between each other.  Its us against the devil.  Till society realize this things will never change.  Love your neighbor.  Hate the way the devil can use your neighbor against you.  Some of you are not Christians that read this blog and that's ok with me.  We all have free will to take which ever path we want to.  I still love you all.

What an awesome day.

Today has just been one of those great days.  My oldest daughter has been promoted to the 6th grade.  I heard the best speech from the "HOT" principal.  Her speech was really amazing.  I found her in the halls to tell her how I needed to hear that just as much as all the kids and adults in that room needed to hear it.  After all the excitement I was ran down in the hall way by a teacher who just told me how nice of a gentleman I am.  I was so got a way with.  For her to take that time to stop and thank me and tell me that.  Restores my faith in society.  It lets me know people do see me for who I am and not for who I was or who others still think I am.  Just a great highlight of my day.  On top of all that I get to work to play boss man because my pops has been off gallivanting this week and find that I have several commission checks I wasn't expecting yet.  So I have paid all my bills for June and have money in the bank and have 2 more paychecks coming.  HUMMMMM!  I might start playing cards again. Also yesterday my pops got voted in to the position he was nominated for.  Im going to just keep flying on this high and enjoy my weekend.

A note to my self:

Always remember that one friend you have who will help you do anything.  I was in a deep conversation with a friend today and I was reminded of how some friends are.  I have a very very close friend whom I rarely talk to any more.  But I know I could call them and ask any favor and they would help.  I remember them helping me numerous times in the past.  Things I will never speak of.  We have each others backs and I plan to remind them of this very soon.  We where so close and I'm sure we still are.  Just need to let them know I am still around.  WOW to think of the things we did and all in secret.  LOL Just a side note so I never forget them. Let me be specific this has been my friend way before my affair and has nothing to do with my affair.  Do not want anyone confused.

Bigger OUT

270,000 miles

I am 30 miles form rolling over to 270,000 miles.  needed somewhere to put this.

Side note

I almost forgot.  Seems everyone is moving right along in life after my stupid mistake.  I do not ask any questions at all nor do probe for info.  I just listen for when information presents itself to me.  So glad to see it cleaning up itself.  I was and still can be a stupid fucking dumb ass bastard retard fuck.  But my mistakes and the affects they had on certain people are starting to be forgotten and people are starting over.  Its good to see.  I just wonder how many people know these things?  Its really none of my business and I will not probe as I have said before.  Just a big relief to see the healing taking place.

HOLD UP!

Whats up with this weather?  We have already had one storm this year and now there is another headed this way?  Just doing things in between showers I guess.  Really makes it hard to get things done.  That will not stop us!

I had an awesome weekend.  My baby girl smacked a softball into left center and made a double and a RBI.  It was awesome.  They also had her playing 3rd instead of first.  Smart move on the coach, I guess, she got many outs on 3rd.  I quizzed her on tag runner or the bag depending on it being a forced run or not and she knew the info already.  Just an awesome day.  The night before we where invited to a graduation party.  I really do not know how in life I ended up being able to talk and associate with all these important people in the county.  I mean there where Dr's, lawyers, business owners,  People of high statue from the county there and I was right in the mix.  Me the little oh trailer service guy.  After the party my wife and I stopped by a friends house to have a few drinks and ended up back over there later with our girls to party some more.  The funny thing to my wife and our friends was my comment.  While at this graduation party I was looking at fingers.  See it wont be to long before I have to get my prostate checked and I have picked the Dr to do it.  She is a smokin hot blond that is a Dr.  Now the reason I choose her is that she has the smallest fingers.  This is not something I look forward to by no means however it is a part of life.  Really doesn't bother me, half of the people I know have seen about every part of me anyway.

Oh I almost forgot.  Church had a bonfire and we ended up the 5 girls staying at our house.  Just a great time.  My wife and I have the hangout house for sure.  This is what we are going for.  We want a place everyone and come and hang out.  Give the kids a place.

Lastly.  I broke the tractor.  Not sure what happened exactly.  I think the water pump went out.  Either way its getting picked up today or tomorrow and we will know.  The highlight of this is we got a new mower.  And it is fun to operate.  But grass mowing will always be work to me though.  I hate grass.

Still at it.

Last night I finished pulling up the fire pit i had built years ago.  Im going to miss it but I look forward to the new things we are trying to do.  Tonight I should remove my burn barrel and that will take care of everything that is in my yard.  For the first time in a long time everything will look so clean.  After I get the burn barrel moved things will start to slow down.  I need to move in some dirt and level parts in the yard.  We are also going to try to get some better grass growing.  All this will take time.  Hopefully I will be able to start on my coop soon.  We will see.  Just have a lot going on. with all our projects.

Memorial day, the 600 and yard work

What an awesome weekend.  It started by y daughter cooking for my grandmother Friday night.  She made some garlic parmesan chicken and it was so good.  Saturday morning was up and atem with yard work being done and play house finishes.  The girls painted the door and I worked on the list I had.  It was a long list so I wont go into detail.  Sunday night we went to a good friends house and watched the 600.  That was awesome they had a guy cook hibachi food.  it as so good also.  The weekend was awesome.  As far as the play house all that is left is a door knob which I should get on tonight and skirting underneath.  My guy should be there some time in June to finish the soffit under the porch.  I will try to post a picture of it.  Hope the blogging world is well.  Thanks for all the views on my blog yall are the best.

Just keep getting better

I know everything can be taken from me in one swipe, however things just keep getting better.  My boss has been nominated for a position in Raleigh.  It is just a nomination however it will give us a great competitive edge on out competition.  He does have to get voted in and I think he will.  We will just have to see. Work is flowing and we are killing it at this time.  Looking new contractors to help keep up with all of this.  Life is awesome!  Ballgame last night.  My baby girl killed it.  Playing first and hitting a home run.  She has an eye for the ball.  My wife made my night last night by buying me a floor jack.  Yes I know it doesn't take much but she just made my life so much easier.  Now I am going to get me an impact wrench and changing tires will be a breeze.  Now back to work.

Bigger Quote of the day: "Life is a Gamble, so I work my ass off so I can bet on myself!"

HOLY CRAP

I almost forgot.  I got access to about 70K this weekend.  Freaking awesome.  I have already been searching for a house.  I found one but am not to excited about it yet.  Have to see what the market value is in that area.  I am going to the new store tomorrow so I will get to look that way and around my other store in that area.  Super excited.  Cant wait to get on that flip high again!!

Done all I can

Even after the state has been split in half.  I am still getting calls about what has not been done yet. And they want to know why.  Its the same story it has been for the past few months.  I cant handle it all.  I told them over and over again.  Seems no one is or was listening.  As of right now I am caught up on my side.  I am going to the beach tomorrow to help him catch up.  It will all end right back up in my lap.  I know it will.  it always does.  But till then I will continue to work as hard as I can to make that dollar.

On a side note I had an awesome weekend.  Have no complains at all.  Hope all is well in the blogger world.  Peace out homies!

LOL

I laugh at my self and what crosses my mind.  I laugh at how care free I am about saying things to certain people.  I just laugh.  I am on a high of sorts.  Life is good.  In fact I am just sitting thinking about what I need to cook for supper.  Who knows.  Not even sure if my ladies are eating with me.  Maybe I will find out about 5.  Until then I will just smile and work.

Bitter Sweet Fires

It is amazing how much info you can learn by watching a fire from afar and talking to 2 fire dept chiefs.  You learn about wrecks, bets, dead people and sex.  Just a great night to drink a few cold ones and shoot the shit.  Oh and burn some stuff.

Bitter sweet comes in where I just gave up have my work load.  I am so relived but lost too.  It had to happen I couldn't handle it all.

Till later have a great day blogging world.

Chicken, Surprises, and "up sexy"

What an awesome weekend.  Its pure got my Monday on a high.  I will start with the dance recital my girls had.  I do love to see them dance.  Also I got to see a few of my teens I use to teach at church dance.  One of them is awesome at what she does.  She brings so much attitude and emotion to what she does.  It was the best recital I have ever been to.  Just amazing.  That night my father in law and his wife staid at our house.  We got up late and I left to go get chickens for my sisters surprise birthday party.  45 chickens is what I cooked.  They turned out good, I had a lot of complements on them.  The party was Sunday so to throw my sister off, we all went and ate Japanese food.  It was a great time also.  Me and my wife with our kids and my sister and of course her 3 kids and my parents.  Just over all a great great night.  Then Sunday I got up and got ready to cook chicken.  And we had a party.  What an awesome weekend.  Life is so good.  Things are so great.  I think it is because of my faith and love of God.  If you do not believe or believe in another god then thats fine.  You will never hear me bash other peoples thoughts or cultural beliefs.  Just like I do not want my believes bashed.  I think once you summit to him and not openly deny his word things become so much easier and you become so much happier.  I also know that everything can be taken away from me any minute.  God has his ways of doing things.  As of now I am going to enjoy all this work I have, enjoy all this family time, and enjoy all this beautiful sunshine.  I will bask in this great earth God has made and enjoy all the blessings he is pouring my way at this time.  What a great weekend.

I will explain "up sexy" later.  Hope the blogging world is doing good.

New Beat Fund – No Type (Rae Sremmurd Cover)

I 
Bad Bitches is the only thing that I like.

I make my on money so I spend it how I like

And let my mama tell me I aint living right

12:57am??????????????????

Why am I at work?  Oh I know because  am that far behind.  I keep having these surprise little issues come up and it puts me behind.  Monday I went to South Carolina.  Tuesday I had to go to my other office at 11:00pm.  Today I went 2 miles from South Carolina.  Tomorrow, wait maybe I should say today I have to go close to Virgina.  Boy oh boy I am wide the hell open.  Just got to keep at it.  You cant maintain #1 in the State or #2 in 5 states by not working hard or smart.  Ill check in with yall around Friday.  If I am in a office somewhere.

Sleepy

Quick catch up on life.  I left work on Friday and loaded up to go to a festival and cook a pig in a competition.  I get there and set up.  I had a nice area larger than most which I think I got hooked up because of who we know.  I had lights chairs tables all the good stuff you need to have a great time.  The crowd was awesome.  I got to see quiet a few friends I haven't seen in a while.  One was a high school crush that I still think is so cute.  I got me a great big oh hug.  It was nice.  We set up and drank all night.  The town we where in is not the best town but not a bad one either.  The first fire work went off and every one around me was grabbing there side.  It was funny.  We all where about to pull out and blast a fool.  Oh great times.  I cut the heat on my pig at 1:10.  I temped the cooker and that was it.  I went and played cards a few tents down.  I met some boys from a close beach county that had there on shine, beach shine.  I was intrigued.  I may get up with them at some point and make a run or two.  Saturday morning came and I realized the sun was coming up and I was still drinking.  This is no big deal other than having to drive home.  So I took me a hour nap.  The judges came said I had a very nicely cooked pig.  They did there thing and left.  I placed 4th in the backyard judging.  We walked around for a while.  It is a very nice festival.  Lots of people and things to see.  It was an absolute blast.

Then Mothers day.  Of course I went home and went to sleep around 3 pm and slept till 8 Sunday morning and in my normal fashion I had nothing for my wife or my mom.  But as I always do I pulled it off.  We went to church and then carried my mom and dad out to eat.  With another large part of my family.  Then we met my mother in law and then went home.  then we sent all the women to have pedicures.  While my wife was gone I cleaned the house.  Then later that night I unloaded the truck.

It was a freaking awesome weekend.  I hope everyone had a great weekend also.  Ill blog later!!

Not good enough

I placed 4th this weekend out of 48.  Close but not good enough, will try again next year.

WOW

Just as a side note I had more page views yesterday than I have had in a while.  Thank you all for reading about this boring life that Bigger lives.

I am leaving work.  Time to get my weekend started!  May you all be blessed and happy.  I will update you all next week.

Just right

Today has been great.  Last night I started cleaning out my work truck.  Which I can say has not been washed in several several years.  It has 265000 miles on it and all kinds of little bugs like when you turn on the left signal light the rear wiper comes on.  The sunroof doesn't shut right and there are several other issues also.  Like the horn, its sounds like a horn off a care that Tinkerbell would drive.  but I plan on putting over 330000 miles on it.  We will see.  Anyway I started cleaning it out last night and plan on washing it tonight and getting it ready for the weekend.  It will be my bed and my resting spot I hope.  Depends on where I have to park.  Then we had a pretty loud storm.  It hailed and rained hard.  The girls woke up and we had a little party in the living room watching the lighting light up the whole inside.  It was so nice.  Then of course I couldn't go to sleep which is not unusual and neither could my wife.

Next thing I know is I hear my oldest daughter saying its 7:40 and daddy is not even up yet.  I crawled out of bed and threw on my clothes from the night before and said lets go LOL.  My oldest daughter looked at me and said " you where sleeping hard want you daddy"  I must have looked rough.  But they got to school with plenty of time and we had an awesome morning prayer and time.

I went back home and got ready, saw my parents for a minute and then ran an errand for them and then went to work.  Just got back from eating lunch with my wife.  Life is grand.  Its just an awesome day in the life of Bigger!!

Just a few more days until the weekend.  Very excited.  Who knows I may get lucky you know.

Well Now

Guess I was right about that too.  I have one more thing I have predicted and if it comes out I guess I will be a straight up prophet.  I knew it.  Oh well.  Live  and let live I guess.

lets roll

Yes have a huge week and weekend planned.  Lets Roll, As in lets get this week started.  Monday I own you!!  Time to make some money and get ready to fry some ass this weekend.  Hope most everyone that reads this can own there Monday too!!

Weekend

As much as I shouldn't I am leaving work in a few to get a party started.  Got to stop and get some drink of course and then will be on my way to start grilling.  Hope everyone has a great weekend.  Ill try to check in Monday!!

Five Gallons Gone

Yep, you read that correct.  I have been saving five gallons of my best mash ever to run here shortly.  And I found it last night on its side open and every bit of it poured out.  I think its a warning though.  See I was going back to one of my original spots to brew.  And I was going to have to sneak in and out and be very very quiet. I also was going to have to haul extra equipment to get power.  Now I have no idea when I will run again.  Oh well.  I got a gig for next weekend anyway so it was going to be a rush job.  I think I will take time and scope out new spots.  Maybe get me a new partner.  We will see.  As of now I will just remain low.  Like laying low.  That's always the best way.

Side note:  5 gallons doesn't produce a lot of shine.  But it is very strong and smooth so I try to make little runs of good stuff and be able to hide things than to bust out with a large quantity that's not as good.  Just saying.

Alright, Lets Catch up

So weekend before last the wife and I left Thursday and headed to Cherokee Casino.  We got in late and decided to gamble the next day.  She hit for some good money and I lost all I carried.  She ended up giving her share back to the casino also.  So all in all it was a great time.  We left there Friday and headed to Bristol.  There was a large group of us and we staid at the end of a cul-de-sac in a very nice neighbor hood.  We had 3 houses to stay in and a community house where we all ate and drink.  Steak appetizers and shrimp boil was our Friday night supper with plenty of alcohol.  Those boys know how to party.  Up early Saturday morning for breakfast.  Again plenty of food and alcohol.  I thought I drank a lot but I aint got nothing on the boy having Vodka for breakfast.  To the track we went. Had a nice Mercedes bus to carry us over and right to our gate.  Went up to our suite and again there was food and drink.  All free.  We watched the 4 races Saturday and then left back to a nice dinner. Drinks again and then sleep and then up for the big race Sunday.  I got to feeling real good Sunday and we also won $680 in the race pull.  Then back that night to sleep and up to come home Monday.  I worked from the road Monday and at the office Tuesday just to get out of bed Wednesday morning and head back to the casino for the Tourney.  I didn't do to well and decided to come home late Wednesday night.  Got home around 12:30.  It was a long day but so worth it.  Thats a quick story of the race weekend.  The food was amazing the drinking was amazing and being with all the competitors was awesome also.  My dad does not like to be recongined but they all knew me and where I am from.  He is somewhat a celebrity among our business.  I think its great.  But with all the attention comes a lot of pressure also.

Speaking of work I finally will be getting my own secretary.  Yes thats right my own personal message taker and permit runner.  I am super excited.  Not really with who it is but just the fact I will be able to catch up and hopefully be able to concentrate on other adventures also.  I see everything moving forward.  Unless she doesnt work and if she dont I think we will just find me another one.

The play house is so close to being finished.  I just have not had time to work on it.  I will be making time next month to finish it and my rear yard Hopefully.  We will see.  Other than that things are just cruisin along.  Hope the blogging world is doing good. Later yall.

I do not want to be here.

I am so tired and want to go home.  I am sitting at work waiting on 6 o' clock.  I laid down on the couch last night at around 7.  I got up and ate a little at 9 and went right back to the couch.  Slept till this morning.  "Work hard play harder" is my motto and I have been living by this sense I told my wife that I was having an affair.  It has been a year this past Wednesday.  At least that's what I was told.  So if that was so then today a year ago was when my "mistress" (as I have heard her referred to) told me that she could never see me again.  Just a lot of thoughts going on in my head today.  Nothing bad and nothing wrong.  Just grateful.  Grateful for many things.  Some I may not should be grateful for... Some I know I should be grateful for.  If I could say one thing to the world.  Make sure you know who you can trust.  Trust is a hard thing to come by.  If you need a friend to keep a secret for 10 years make sure they will.  Make sure they understand how important it is for things to be kept a secret for that long.  Cause all it takes is them telling one other person your secret and then its out.  So in other words.  Choose whom you trust.  I have trusted many.  And they have trusted many.  Yet some whom are trusted are not willing to keep secrets.  I hope this rant makes sense.  If anyone gets mad or upset about this then they have misread this post.  Nothing I write should be taken personal... What I write should be taken with a Bigger mind set.  signing off for the weekend I think.  Later

So tired

In the past 7 days I have driven for at least 40 hours.  I also have worked for 30 hours.  I have seen 5 races, a concert, been to the casino twice and drank at least 72 beer.  Im back at work today and pushing through.  Still want to tell you all about the race the casino and the life of this guy you all call Bigger!  Great Great Times.  Maybe tomorrow.  We will see.

Thank You blogging world

I want to start with a huge thank you to my blogging friends whom read and comment on my blog.  Several years back I had two great blogger friends. We spoke and commented weekly on our blogs.  I know one of them passed away and the other disappered I am thinking the worse for her too. I plan on checking out your blogs this week.  I have been slack.  Hopefully later today I can tell you all about our weekend.  It was awesome!

Exciting!

I just want to talk.  Have had a great week and it keeps getting better.  I want to start with women.  That one who wore her pants tight and obvious didn't have on underwear or if she did they where thongs.  Yea I was looking.  And the other lady whom I have always thought was so cute that hair and those thin lips.  Umm Umm.  And that little dance I saw you do.  Yep it was killer.  Being surrounded by all that beauty makes me smile.  Oh and the lady whom was cute but knew her shit didn't stink.  Oh I laughed to myself.  Bless you lady.  Was so good to see old friends and people of the past.  Oh and that one red head.  Yep was nice to finally see you and not behind a counter.  Any way thats my lady rant for today.  Next is about the weekend.  I see gambling drinking and racing happening.  I will update on this next week some time.  If I have time.  I have a lot I need to do.  As always its mainly work but not all of it.  Im ready to get my drink on.  I have a goal to digest around 60 beer this weekend.  Hope to go for 72 but I have to keep my composure.  SO I will get back with all yall next week.  Wait Wait.  Also the blonde who sent me that picture.  I loved it :-* to you!

UGH

Long night ahead of me.  I have to work late to catch up so I can enjoy my weekend and my next week.  Plus if all goes well I will have a surprise for the family soon.  I am super excited about it.  I am sure I will hear a lot of lip about part of it but hey, its my family and my children so suck it!

Dierks Bentley - Somewhere On A Beach

Monday?

Something is up with me.  I dont feel right.  Something isnt right.  I didnt sleep at all last night.  I tossed and turned a lot.  Thats not like me.  Somethings up.  Got to figure this all out.

Going Crazy

At this moment I have 42 deals I am looking at.  As the boss has said we are looking at the best year we have every had.  These deals do not include the new lot we have opened.  it brings to me a great question.  Im trying to figure out how to handle my future.  I see us expanding quiet a bit.  I see 3 or 4 more stores being opened and succeeding.  This has been the plan the whole time.  My concern is once we get that large we will be looked at as a very successful company and the ones in the business know that once you get like that you start getting looked at and asked to be bought out.  my boss is already great friends with the high ups.  I say high ups loosely.  He is in constant contact with owners of many large companies that have already bought out many competitors or have been part of the competitors shutting down.  Either way I see us growing and expanding and then being offered a deal that we wouldn't turn down.  So then I am out of a job.  If it where to happen in 10 years I would be 44.  I mean really where does a 44 year old construction guy go?  He goes no where.  So do I step out on my own?  do I take a chance? do I stay here for the ride? Im so confused in life.  I have told the boss that if certain things did not happen I was going out on my own,  this is on our extra adventures.  Do I go ahead?  I feel I have a backer or two.  But then again Im not sure.  Who the hell knows.  I will continue to pray and think till I make a decision.  Peace out Blogging world.

We need lows

you cant appreciate your highs with out your lows.  Im on a low.  Been this way.  Dont even know why.  Either way back to work for me I have 15 more mins then I can start drinking.  The drink always gives me highs.

Rain Rain

Well this will hold me up.  But I can make due.  Cause I am the man!!

NOW

Now I can tell you the exciting news.  We are opening another sales lot and it is at the beach.  Super excited.  Paper work has been signed and we have applied for our license and transfer of information.  All this would have been completed but we had to wait on the bond.  Oh the joy.  The long weeks on the water.  This is so exciting.  Not only for the beach weekends but also for the extra income.  As I said before.  God is on my side!

Hope to buy the extra goodies for the play house this weekend and be close to finishing it.  With the landscaping being done and watching the E's I have gotten behind.  I have a guy coming to shingle it next week.  I just am to lazy to get back on that roof.  Plus last time I got caught in the rain.

Life is great on the Bigger side.

Tired, Hurt, Sore, Busy, Happy

I've been busting my ass these past few days.  Still big news coming from the work world.   I will be able to discuss it soon enough.  I'm tired because I am not sleeping.  I am having a problem with my arm causing me to be woke up several times a night.  I hurt/sore from my back catching Saturday and then still working around the house.  Of course I am busy but it feels so good. And lastly I am happy.  I have several reasons to be happy.  Mostly I feel I have made some good decisions because of things that are happening.  No one can ever see the future however I was right about several things and I have saved my self so many problems and issues.  God is on my side.  I'm am so thankful to be back in his arms.  I fail him daily.  But he loves me and supports me in my decisions.  Expect alcohol.  Got to go.

It finally happened

After 34 years of life I have had a death threat.  Whats funny is it did not come form anyone that has any association with me.  It came from someone whom I had given a gift.  It was funny to me.  Still wandering if the threat came from her or her husband, however knowing what I know im sure it was from her. OH WELL.  Luckly I have no reason to be scared or threatened.  It is just one of those things.  Everyone in my family is safe and so am I.  Other than that this week has just been fullfilled with lots of work and fun and trips.  Been to the water, the zoo and large towns.  Been shopping and scored some awesome things I think I can make money on through the internet.  We will see.  Im about to hit the road again.  Lots of miles this week.  I hope everyone is having a great Easter.  Peace brothers and sisters. Till next time.  Unless I am killed lol.

Lions, Giraffes and Bears

Went on a field trip yesterday.  It was awesome.  my oldest daughter and I walked around with her friend and her friends mom.  It was a great time!  We saw all the animals there as far as I  know.  It was just a fun laughter filled time.  Its was great hanging out with good company and just enjoying the beautful weather and all.  With Easter break upon us I think these next two weeks will even be better.  Ill check in later, With me missing a day and my phone dying I have a lot of catching up to do.

Awesome weekend

Had a great weekend.  Now its back to work with a slight day off tomorrow and preparation for the WSOP.  I think I need to play poker....... Pokeher..... poke something........  See this whole you cant be friends with a girl and not have sex thing is a lie.  Im doing it as we speak.  So there world try that on for size.  Oh and play house only needs inside trim and floor.  I picked up the things needed for the outside this weekend and will still be working on it all this week.  I hope to be replacing vinyl and building the hog pen this weekend.  We shall see.  As of this afternoon I think I will be taking a ride to the coast.  Just cause I can.

It happened

It sure did.  Very excited about things we have going on.  It just adds to my work load but I am still super excited.  "All this preparation I have been doing will pay off."  Just very excited.

Also my wife and I got all the ceiling hung in the play house last night.

Which means I might just might have it close for them this weekend.  I hope to have back wall finished tonight.  then some paint and lino and trim Boom inside will be done!!!!!!!

Work Work

Just working hard.  I start at 8 in the morning and usually do not stop until 12 at night.  Hey its just how it goes.  But it pays off.

The ac fell out of the play house and will not work now.  It was my fault for not properly securing it.  However I had a bigger better one give to me last night.  On top of that I think I only have like $200 in this thing as far as my own money.  That's total.  I hope to post pictures when I am done with it.  I plan to be completely finished my the end of April.  There may be a chance that I will have it finished enough for the girls to start playing in it by the end of the this weekend.  That is if it does not rain me out.  I will still have trim work to finish but I have got to get my pig pen built also.  Lots of things going on and working out.

Very exciting news around work also.  I cant say anything yet but if I think I am busy now I will be killing it mid summer.  And probably will be able to stay at the beach house more.  HUH!!!!  Just a thought.  I might could actually arrange to move there.  Seriously I could move my whole family there and then come back home on the weekends.  BRAIN THOUGHT>>>>>>>> I wonder how the neighbors would feel about the play house being in the back yard, or is that front yard, The yard facing the water.  That would be awesome kick back looking out the door at the water watching the tv sitting in the coolness.  Geez sounds like a vacation.  Ok back to reality the HOA wouldnt allow it and I doubt I move to the beach.  I just kinda like the farm and my new adventures I am starting.

Still laughing

I still laugh at two comments made this weekend.  First was "Man that is a deep hole"  The second "Fried Chicken Country Ham its your Birthday Hot Damn"  Oh my that was awesome.  I get the best laughs from people.

Still working on the play house.  I will some how some way finish the vinyl on the rear tonight.  I also will be putting the osb board up on the inside tonight and have got to get the majority of it finished before Wednesday night.  I have got to carry the tractor to get it serviced Thursday.  SIGHHHHH  I am working my ass off and love it.  The only problem I am having right this minute is that I am not sleeping at night.  This morning at 1am I was thinking.  I should be doing something.  And when I do sleep I have the craziest dreams.  I am either in an episode of Walking Dead or I am at a crazy big house running all around.  It is just crazy the things your mind can produce.  With all that being said I did say last time I wouldn't be back till I got paid.  Well I haven't gotten the check but its in the mail.  LIFE IS GREAT

Birth Control

So my weekend consisted of watching 4 kids 2 and under.  Plus heavy drinking and working on the play house with dreams of raising pigs.  It was pretty awesome.  Time to get back to work though.  Money is short and I need to go play Texas holdem in Baltimore.  So have a great week blogging world.  Bigger is signing out until he gets paid!!!!!

Slight Headache

On Wednesdays I try my best to eat lunch with my wife.  While we where eating my phone rang.  I knew it was work but turned out to be my 2nd boss.  This is what I call her.  She runs the poker game I play sometimes.  She needed me to cook and asked if I could play.  They had about 18 playing and where running 2 tables with bonus hands every 2 hours.  Of course I said yes.  Who doesn't want to drink, play cards and stay up late partying?  So I went  and cooked and sat down at a $1-$3 table.  My cards where middle run cards I lost several hands but drink many beers.  I lost down on that $300 and got $100 more.  I lost down on it and got $200 more.  Now keep in mind she is writing these down in a book.  I have not actually paid her for these chips.  But she knows I would never short her and we can always make sure we even up.  Ill let you think what you want about that comment.  LOL I'm saying trading services for money if I don't have it or she cant pay me for what I win/earn from playing and cooking.  No this has nothing to do with sex.  Geez get your mind out of the gutter.  So at this point I guess its about 12 or so and the table is starting to break.  I get up and ask for $200 more.  For those of you keeping count that's $800 I have borrowed that is expected to be paid back before I leave the game.  I was a little concerned because I got down to $90.  Now how am I suppose to explain to my wife that I have lost $710 in one night.  Was too drunk to drive home and every one was laughing cause I kept calling home girl at the end of the table "Hot Chick"  I couldn't remember her name but she was hot and was a nurse.  So any way I am a little freaked out.  I mean I can go have a nice quick runaway vacation for $710 and I have just gave it away. And then something changed and I felt a little more attentive.  It might have been the distraction at the end of the table had left.  Or it might have been just me being me and reaching to next level of my light buzz I had left.  I ended up turning that $90 into $566 and with her owing me $200 I was $33 to the bad.  I paid $40 and told her to keep the tip.  It was an awesome night.  I got home around 3:30 and went to sleep just to wake up at 6;30 this morning.  OH I Love those nights like that.

WOW

I have just heard one of the sweetest things I have heard in a long time.  Some people just dont know.  Some people are just clueless.  I hope this person gets the true love and respect they deserve because they are sure giving love and respect even with out others knowing it.  This is so good for my heart.   Just a quick update on the playhouse.  I have finished the porch construstion and have started to vinyl it.  Hopefully this weekend I will be able to sheet the inside of it.  Hope the blogging world is good.  I am doing great.  Peace to all.......

I wonder if I have a free pass?

Fyi

I no longer stay out late on Tuesday night's, it's Wednesday night's I stay out late.  Which means I might be out tonight but not sure, I only go out once in a great while now, still a lot of people keeping tabs on me so I don't stay out too late and I don't wonder real far.  I guess I have plenty I could say however I have no ground to stand on.  I miss sex, I ain't going to lie, but I've heard others aren't missing it as much, it's funny the emotions we go through in life.  Either way things are fine, no anger or pain, just thoughts.

Huh

My email says my account was logged in under another device.  So I have had to change my password.  Will go over details of my weekend later.  it was awesome and sad at the same time.  I think i like drinking alone or with my BIL.  So much less drama than when you have females together.  Sorry Women but you all know its the truth, Dont lie, I know.  More than yall wish I did.

Thanking God

I have been able to accomplish many things lately.  I am super excited about the things I have going on.  I received a fortune cookie a while back, and though I don't believe it is actually a fortune this one I kept and taped where I can see it every day.  It said "All the preparation you've done will finally payoff."  I can see where it is finally paying off and things are turning.  I was able to bid on a house the other day and even though we lost the bid it felt great to be back in the "Flipping" game.  We are very close to getting our personal line of credit where we shouldn't have to depend on investors.  We are closing on our rental next Tuesday.  Things are moving along.  I can say the weather has been a bitch.  It has rained and rained and rained.  Everything is wet so work has been sucking and we are very backed up.  But hey, whats that old saying "Aint no hill for a climber."  I am a DAMN CLIMBER!!

Now on to the fun stuff.  Poker, I have placed in the money in both of the last 2 tourneys I have played.  I am taking my time and learning the players a little more and making smart bets.  I am playing a little more aggressive and not showing any weakness.  It may be the medicine but my mind has been able to slow down and I don't get so uptight anymore.  I also have a great poker face.  That comes from practice and lack of actual caring.  I do love Texas holdem.  I have a trip planned to play the WSOP in March and in April.  Last time I played the WSOP I bubbled. It may happen again but sitting for 12 to 13 hours playing cards to me is awesome.  Other fun stuff, I will be starting back on my girls place house this weekend.  I will be releveling and building a small 10x4 covered deck on the front.  If I have time I hope to shingle the whole playhouse and possibly install the 15 light door.  In the shop I have been really busy.  I have moved everything from the right side to the middle so we can build a 12x40 loft.  Under the loft will be the bathroom and the kitchen.  I have the plans scratched on paper and the finishing look in my head.  If I can pull all this off it will be freaking awesome.  There is also talk about hanging a screen from the rafters down and installing a projector for a huge screen where we could have the "big game" party's and racing parties.  The screen will be the last thing we do if we do it.  I am also in the progress of buying some cows.  Along with the cows I will personally be buying a couple hogs to raise for meat.  I am super excited about the hogs.  I think over the next 3 to 4 years I will be able to turn it into a small hog farm operation where we will be able to have 3 to 4 hogs slaughtered and everything will be paid for.  Its like free meat!  Lastly after or possibly before I get the hogs I will be building a Chicken coop and having 6 chickens.  This is my thought as of now.  We will see how it goes.

As you can see I keep myself busy.  I have to.  In fact yesterday we closed early because of the possibility of the bad weather and of course I went to the house and worked in the shop.  Then went home and ate supper with the fam.  At 9:00pm I told the wife I was going to lay down.  She was very surprised since I am usually up till 12 or 1.  I remember telling the girls to cut off the tv and go to bed and then I went straight to bed and slept till 7 this morning.  I was tired.  However I have now caught up on my sleep and will be going back at it strong for another month or so.  Oh I almost forgot.  I finally finished the bed.  It is pretty cool.  And we will be going to a drunking good time of a party this weekend.  Oh the joy, I have bet someone I can out drink her.  I mean really I am a 300 pound guy and she aint as big as a minute but she swears she can out drink me.  I think the 12 beer nights I have been having will put her in her place.

Also want to say thank you for the comment.  Its been so long that I figured no one was reading this blog anymore.

Its been a rough road

I can sit here and say what ever I want to.  But I will keep it simple.  When you hear of how devastated kids are, it changes your out look on things.  Some times we have to sacrifice things we want to do and things we shouldn't do to make sure others are ok.  Im learning to live again as I said yesterday.  Im learning how to deal with people and things in life.  Im learning how to except the way some people are.  Im learning to deal with life.  There are so many things I would like to say but I will keep it simple.  I will say that there seems to be a lot of people who talk.  I will say that when I made a comment about not needing alcohol in my life I was lying to myself and the world.  I have consumed more alcohol in the last 8 months than probably the last 5 years of my life.  I am on medicine to make we more mellow.  I like shooting guns.  Shot quiet a few this weekend including a SKS.  I am still working in that damn shop.  It will take me a year to get it even close to where it needs to be.  I am building a bathroom and a kitchen in there.  It will be a man room i hope.  I will have plenty of storage above the bathroom and the kitchen for my mother.  The other project I am working on is getting a pecan harvestor for the farm.  This is needed so bad.  Over 1500 lbs have been picked up and we are guessing another 2000 lbs left on the ground that have been eatin by animals.  We are getting a few years from having 10,000lbs a year.  We need a screen shaker also.  This is just for picking up the pecans not even the sprayer, shaker and blower we need.  I am thinking about buying a crossbow.  I have a friend that is going to let me shoot theres.  I am excited about it.  Im trying to find alternative things other than poker and beer to do.  I have blown an easy $10,000 on poker.  Just gone, bye.  Oh well I enjoyed every minute of it.  Ive made comments to people that I was truthful about.  I also have no idea how to login... my memory is not that good.  Im going to go home and eat some hawain chicken I put in the crock pot this morning.  I still do most the cooking and kitchen cleaning.  I have my daughter cooking some also.  Im just learngin to live again.  Maybe one day I will be able actually speak to others again and explain it all.  There is a lot going on in this mind.  I just keep moving forward and trying to do what God expects.  Exept drinking, he knows I drink to relive stress and most of the time a drink alone so I am not causing anyone to stumble.  In fact I plan on drinking alone tonight.  maybe working in the shop and singing country music.  Later blogging world

Learning to live

Learning to live again, Ill explain later.

very very hurt

I am really having a hard time with life right now.  First off my back hurts.  My legs hurt. These are the physical pains I am having.  They hurt because I have been working nonstop trying to keep up.  My mind hurts.  My mind hurts from trying to come out of this drab spot I am in.  My mind hurts from trying to accomplish things at work.  It hurts from the overwhelming feeling of unfinished jobs.  Not only with work but also at the farm, pecans, shop, well, trucks, four wheeler.  all these things have not been accomplished.  all these things I have been working on for a while.  But I am always available to help others.  which in turns puts me behind on all my personal things, but I have no one to help me.  We are all so busy.  Last Wednesday night I was in the shop till one Thursday night till one. Friday night I crashed hard and was up Saturday back at the shop all day till 3am Sunday morning just to be back there again yesterday afternoon.  But yet if you look it appears nothing has been done.  My feelings are hurt.  This goes with everything all together.  There is not one thing or person that has done this its the whole relisation that no matter how hard I work or try or even all I accomplish its never enough.  Its never enough for me or any one else.  NO ONE has told me good job on anything in a while and I am working so much harder than I ever had before.  On Everything.  Last off my heart hurts. It aches.  Thats all I can say.  Life goes on and death approaches, Its just the way it is.