Monday, January 11, 2016

very very hurt

I am really having a hard time with life right now.  First off my back hurts.  My legs hurt. These are the physical pains I am having.  They hurt because I have been working nonstop trying to keep up.  My mind hurts.  My mind hurts from trying to come out of this drab spot I am in.  My mind hurts from trying to accomplish things at work.  It hurts from the overwhelming feeling of unfinished jobs.  Not only with work but also at the farm, pecans, shop, well, trucks, four wheeler.  all these things have not been accomplished.  all these things I have been working on for a while.  But I am always available to help others.  which in turns puts me behind on all my personal things, but I have no one to help me.  We are all so busy.  Last Wednesday night I was in the shop till one Thursday night till one. Friday night I crashed hard and was up Saturday back at the shop all day till 3am Sunday morning just to be back there again yesterday afternoon.  But yet if you look it appears nothing has been done.  My feelings are hurt.  This goes with everything all together.  There is not one thing or person that has done this its the whole relisation that no matter how hard I work or try or even all I accomplish its never enough.  Its never enough for me or any one else.  NO ONE has told me good job on anything in a while and I am working so much harder than I ever had before.  On Everything.  Last off my heart hurts. It aches.  Thats all I can say.  Life goes on and death approaches, Its just the way it is.

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