I guess its just life.

Ive been thinking lately about the things I have accomplished in life.  Honestly there isnt much.  I have stuck my neck out on many things just to be cut out of them and watch others benefit from my doings.  I have busted my ass on some things to just see those things get turned down because they where too risky or others thought it was a bad idea.  I feel I have always rode the coat tails of my father to get where I am.  I dont like this.  I dont like the fact that I have never accomplished something and was able to benefit or profit from what I have done.  I question what it will take in life to get someone to latch on to my ideas and help me accomplish and fulfill dreams thoughts and hopes.  Everything I have ever tried has failed.  All the way from my love life to business to just trying to have fun.  What have I missed, what happen for me to not get the help I need for things to go my way for once.  Am I just stupid? Am I an idiot? Am I unstable? I just dont understand.  When I sit and think on it there has to be something wrong with me.  When I think on it I have to have screwed up somewhere.  People come to me with things they want to do and I always try my best to think on them and try to help them figure out how to accomplish there goals.  I wish I could get the same respect from others.  I wish I had a friend like me.  I know that may sound crazy.  The only solution I have been able to come up with is to just do it on my own.  I will have to be very tight and reserved on thing.  I will have to respect my goals and meet them.  I have realized in this life I have no one to count on but me.  I am the only one that is brave enough and crazy enough to do the things in life that I want to do.  Having no support or help with these things will make this a very hard long tiring adventure but for me to ever accomplish any thing in this life I will have to tackle it alone.  I was once told it was me against the world only if I let it be that way.  That I have friends and people who care.  That is only a half true statement.  I may have people who act like they care and say they do but no one cares enough to put their selves on a ledge with me and jump to see if we can fly.  No one truly cares about me enough to take the gamble.  No one cares enough to fail with me.  No one cares enough to succeed with me.  So as this year comes to a close and everyone looks forward to there next year I will be figuring out my next great adventure and I will work my ass off right by myself and either fail or succeed.  I will not leave a stone unturned or a path untraveled.  I will finally accomplish something. I will succeed.  Mark my words I will succeed.  I will beat down every door that is closed in my face and I will continue to stumble forward until I get to a place in my life where I feel comfortable where I feel I deserve to be where I can say this was me.  I will I will.  This is my life.  God gave me a chance to walk this earth, God gave me a chance to succeed.  God has given me the things I need to succeed.  I will no longer let any one hold me back. NO ONE will stand in my way.  One day Im sure some will look back and think "I missed my opportunity" and they will be correct.  This is my life and I intend on doing as I please!  Everyone else can just kiss my ass.