Monday, September 25, 2017

The offer

I have been offered a job.  Same employer and same office.  Just a new job.  I do not know if I want to take it.  So much emotion.  I have to decide.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

No title

Just decided to type for a minute.  Really have no reason to type.  Just wanted to put something down.  Work what feels like 7 days a week.  Dance 4 nights a week.  This is my schedule.  It does not include the 3 nights a week my wife does dance also.  Parties every other weekend.  Remodeling houses.

non finished post

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Irma

Here we go again.  Another Hurricane coming my way.  60 houses.  Yes you heard that right I have 60 houses spread all over the place.  Panic is an understatement.  We will see what happens.  Have several in flood zones also.  It will be what it will be.  Time to get back at it.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Proud daddy moment


there is a young girl with cancer.  My girls had a lemonade stand to raise money for her.  They did it all by there self.  All there idea and they did all the work.  I am so proud.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Lost

I am so fucking lost.  Like I am having a hard time remembering what day it is.  I have a hard time with remembering anything.  I think I have something wrong with me.  I do not know if it is like a mental issue, or a physical issue or a spiritual issue.  I am really struggling with this.  I have had many ups and downs but at this point I am stuck in a fast moving elevator.  Just confused.  I can not even explain in.  My thoughts are now just rambling voices in my head.  Nothing is clear to me.  Everything is a blur.  life is on spin cycle.  and I am stuck in the bottom of the pit.  Or is it the top.  I dont know.  I long for solid thoughts or something to see.  I wish I had a reason to live.  A purpose in this life.  I do not feel I have anything but my family.  And I feel I am unable to take care of them.  Lost Lost Lost Lost Just strolling through.  Wandering around aimlessly looking a target to reach.  A goal to set.  Something with some substance.  A balloon caught in the wind being pushed in every direction with no control over where it lands.  looking out of a window with the curtains drawn.  Unable to see past my eye lids.  Lost wanderer flailing in the darkness of an empty purpose.  No where to go no where to hide.  abused by the elements of whats inside.



-bigger........

Friday, July 28, 2017

Friday

I am just sitting here with plenty to do and absolutly no motivation to do anything.  Hope I get some before I get home.  Things are great though.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Reality

I have had to realize that life will not be the way I want it to be.  At this rate I will never be what I want to be.  Every avenue just closes.  makes me not even want to try.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Finally

I have finally had an accepted offer on a house.  The good thing is it was not a foreclosure so I can sell it quicker. The day of closing I should be there tearing out and cleaning up.  I need to flip this one quick.  I also had my hair cut and beard trimmed yesterday.  after 2 years.  It was nice.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

What a damn time......

Wide open is an understatement.  We are opening another store.  That will be 4 stores.  We also have finally found a few foreclosures.  So I have that going on.  We are also building a new deck at home.  (This deck build will take a while.)  I hope we are about to hire another person to help me.  I still mow pecan trees on Friday nights and drink beer.  Dad told me the other day he was looking into a tractor with a cab and heat and air.  I told him there is no one on that farm that would be more happy than me.  But,  we need a tree shaker and harvester first.  There are so many nuts this year.  If they continue and do not get diesesed or have a storm blow them away things will be great.  Just checking in.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

typing

I just wanna type and write.  put all my thoughts on paper.  I am tired.  I am once again trying to come off the caffine.  I have gained so much weight and I am so disappointed in myself.  I just dont know what to do.  All I can do is start slow. thats what I am doing.  I am going to stop typing just have lost the want to.