Freaking out

I was left with the business last Friday.  I was not told what money we have or what I could buy.  I am so freaking nervous about this day.  I was able to hold off everyone's checks but one.  And it was a big one.  I have written the check and its all over now.  I do not know if the check is good or bad.  I just wrote it on a limb.  UGH!  I am putting my plan in place now to be able to work for my self.  It will take me a few years but I will make it!  I know there will be no less stress but at least I will be in control of it all.  I will not have to feel responsible for so many families and there survival.  Either way I have T minus 3 hours before I have a cold beer in my hand and getting ready to ride the tractor.  I know all this stress is not just work related.  I also have a large personal payment due on Monday that I am approx $600 short on.  But I have always been able to make my payments and I am still holding on to hope I make this one.  It is a draft and if I do not have the money in the bank I have been told that they will keep hitting my account until I do have the money.  So worst case is it will have to be made next Friday.  I just hate to make a payment late if I can help it.  Honestly this is the hardest position I have been put in for a long time.  I have got to figure out where all my money has gone this year.  Things where moving along great then I hit this wall.  Got to figure all this out.  Either way I will enjoy my night, me and my John Deere and my Beer.