I do not have Internet at my home. Yes I live in the middle of nowhere. We just got good cellphone reception in the last 3 years. So I can only post while I am at work. I try my best to have all my work about caught up before I start playing with my blog. That is why my post some times are spaced. Been having a good run at it though. Carried the baby to Chapel Hill Hospital to meet with a pulmonary specialist. We changed a few things and she is doing great. Me and the wife are having good days and then some bad. We just don't seem to see eye to eye anymore. I know that is not a good thing but we are working on it. I have a hard time understanding how I love her so much. I mean I really do LOVE her. But yet we seem to be so different. I have thought about divorce and how things would be and it scares me. I don't want to be without her. There is no one else that I want, but yet we bicker and bitch every day. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! We are not talking divorce or anything but I know it could happen. I have seen it many times. I don't know. I just feel better when I type about it. Just seems to get it off my chest. I know you are tired of hearing my complaints but it does help to put it out there.
On a positive note. Sunday night i ate some greens out of my garden. It makes it worth it once you start been able to consume all the hard work.
I will leave with this,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD
There's a lot I can say about maritial issues. But there's one important thought I'll pass on to you: Stay married if at all possible. Your child will be better for it. Work it out. Give and take...be flexible. Counseling might help.
ReplyDeleteThere's a period of adjustment in marriage that seems to smooth out over the years. To stay married you have to work on it. Hard. But it takes two to make a marriage work. Hopefully your wife has a marriage work ethic and will strive to help put all the pieces together.
Good luck (and work hard!)
I held onto a marriage FAR longer than I should have. I mean FAR longer -- 14 years after I SHOULD have divorced her! But I thought we were Catholic since she pretended to be her whole life long. She agreed to go to couple counseling but changed it to individual counseling for awhile while I was deployed w/ the AF. When I was back, she said that counselor had moved out of town and pretended to go with me to a half-assed, diploma-mill clinical social worker who unethically engineered individual sessions with her behind my back (to get payments from the AF's mental health providers). Still, I was about to finish my PhD in counseling psychology shortly after retirement so I knew effective, ethical counseling was the only way to resolve our significant communication problems -- and I STILL recommend that to you and to others early in their difficulties.
ReplyDeleteTurns out in Florida & 30 other states people don't need GROUNDS anymore to get civil divorces (which are the only ones that count for custody & money issues.) Also turns out, I discovered from a psychological test she took (and I understood very well from my PhD studies) that she had Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder and had been sexually molested by her father and others at a young age. That was the time I should have "cut & run" instead of doggedly trying to keep my family together cuz I got raped emotionally & financially because of "no fault" divorce & a change in Federal law which had previously prevented division of military retired pay. Oh, did I mention, she HAD NO GROUNDS other than wanting half my retired money she never worked for (in OR out of the home)? And keeping me from finding out more of her lies which I am STILL discovering 2 years after her cancer came back with a vengeance and got her!
My real point to you is to try your damnedest to get into couple counseling with a reputable & qualified marital counselor (licensed psychologist or family therapist with experience). But, at the SAME time, you really need ALSO to be developing a Plan B in case your wife is nearly as fucked-up as MINE was! (That's not a clinical term but you get the point.) I understand what Shakespeare meant, now: "To thine own self, be true!"