BREAKING!!!!!!

Quick post, I am fed up with all I have going on. The saving grace is I get to go fishing, I leave Sat and come back on Wednesday just in time to trick or treat. This will hopefully hold me over till I take my big trip which will be to Vegas. I had hope to go in Nov but it may get pushed to first of the year. I do go on a Disney cruise at the end of Nov but its with the ex and the kids. so will will have to see how that goes.

Vacation

My bitch for the day...... How is it you feel you do must the work but the boss man aka my dad gets all the vacation time. I mean I know the answer, He owns the company and can do what he wants. I guess my 5 days a week for about a year straight is catching up with me. Oh well.... maybe he is atleast enjoying the Bahamas on the hard work I do for him. Dont know this band but do the song

Just for you Laroo! And this one for me. Problably my favorite Bob Marley song.

Not just 9-11 for me

I have a lot to catch up on. Like the fact that my wife has moved out. Or the fact I hit a bear with my truck. But quickly I want to touch on something that is close to my heart. Many people will think back to the attacks on our great nation on 9-11. I will but mostly the thought will be on my dear friend who lost her life 9 years ago on 9-11. She was murdered my her boyfriend who also was a good friend on mine. This hits me right in the heart. I think about there son who will never really know his mom or the fact that one day he will find out his dad killed his mom. I dont want to take away from all the life's that where lost on 9-11. This one just hits me hard. I will never forget the video of him being arrested and in cuffs. I cant but wander why, why kill her. She was an awesome person. She was sweet, she was a dear friend. RIP Chirstina Lee

The Talk?????

It is no secret to you all that my wife and I have had our problems in the past. I recently posted where I had moved out. This past week I had been keeping the kids at the house and she would stay at her moms. We got into a heated argument about some shoes. It really was a stupid argument but one non the less. She told me that she was going to get a separation agreement drawn up. As bad as it may sound, I felt relieved like we could put this thing to bed and start to move on. But then, she told me she was not doing anything until we had one more chance. With this she found a way to stay back at the house one night while I had the kids. It is partially my fault but I am sick and tired of arguing with her especially while the kids are up and at home. If I had challenged her (even though I wish I would had) I know there would have been an argument. So in the interest of my kids I let it go. Now she thinks we are back to the old ways. I am on the couch and she in the bed with the kids. I intend on telling her that I will have the separation agreement drawn up and one of us has to go. I hate that it is the beginning of the school year and it will be so hard on my kids. I just do not want to go on living like this any more. She is a great mother and has been a good wife. We just have so many different point of views on things and we are at a point where we can not even talk anymore. I don't know. I never thought my life would be like this. I will take any advice from anyone on how to help my kids cope with this. They are my biggest concern. I know every kid wants to have the perfect little family. I also know some people leave relationships to escape it all. I would be perfectly fine with having the kids full time. I know it will work out and I am praying for the best.

Some times we get tied up on things and do not take time to give ourselfs a break. 2 weeks ago I left my house because of a huge argument with my wife. I have only gone back to get cloths and when I had the girls or to do some work around the farm. The blogger family is one that is very open. You are able to be yourself and say things that most people do not know about you. you are also able to get advice from people who may or may not have been in the same position. I have neglected checking in on my blogger friends for a while. even though I really needed a listing ear and you can always find it here. Laroo posted a spot about a fellow blogger friend named Bob. His blog "What about Bob" is one I followed. Im not sure what has happened to him or even if he is ok. all I am asking is if you will keep him in your prayers or thoughts or what ever happy place you use to ask for things. And also laroo if you read this let me know how I can get you my email address.

Paster Chef Bigger

There is a local festival that I cooked in this past weekend. Well......I was entered in to cook and I supplied every thing for the cooking to be done. I set every thing up and then at 1:00 am I left my help to watch the food. He was not real happy that I left him out there all night but hey!! Bigger needs his beauty sleep. I went to my local office and caught some sleep. Which was great because I was able to stay up until they gave out awards. My school cooked 3 hogs and I cooked one. It was a blast. There where about 50 people in my division and we got 16. Not to bad. Some of these boys cook hogs all the time. I just do it for fun or to help out the local benefits. But the fun thing was the skit before hand. We had a pig funeral complete with a coffin grill/cooker a picture show, and I was the preacher. I said the last words for Sir Ham. It was great especially when I heard them announce that we got first place in the showmanship division. So this was my weekend it was a blast. O! My oldest daughter has her 2nd Softball game tonight I will try and blog about it tomorrow. Thinks for the comments I have missed you all.

My First 5K

So I have a co worker who has 2 daughters in a running club at a local health center. A couple weeks ago we where talking about our work outs and I mentioned I had been running some. She said she needed someone to help her run with one of her daughters. I told her I would be glad too. So this morning I met them at the 5k run. The little girls name is Brenda, she is 8 years old. Just as cute as can be. I am proud to say that out of her running club we got first place, and her sister got 2nd. We ran in in 37:42 which was just below my goal of 38 minutes. I left after we got back but her mom said every one was talking about her/us running. I really enjoyed it. To see the look on her face as she crossed the finish line and how proud she was of her self is enough to make anyone support a kid even if it is not your own.

Thank You

So I have 2 blogs I follow. Laroos and Bobs. For close to a year I have read there blogs and ignored mine. I have not even clicked on my blog to see if anyone has posted. I had lost the need to speak. I kinda took myself to a place of solitude. But this past Tuesday night I clicked on to my blog from Laroos blog and read every post I have ever written. There was not many but it carried me back and was good to read. I want to think Laroo for not taking my blog link off of her blog.

Thank You Laroo!!!!!

Even with the girls and my wife I was alone. I still feel that way some. During the past year I have lost 85 lbs. it feels good. I have continued to go to school even though it is kicking my ass. The kids are great. Growing like crazy. The baby is a handful. She has a mind of her own. she will be 3 this year. HOLY COW.

My marriage is on the rocks even more now than ever. We have just drifted apart. It is sad because if we do split we have two wonderful kids that will have to be shared. Every holiday, birthday or and other day. it makes me cry and want to stay but my heart is not in it like it use to be.

Any way so Biggers blog is back up. We will see how ling it last this time.

Great Weekend

Just had a real good weekend. There are wedding bells in the air, over the next year there will be 3 weddings I will have to attend. My sisters, My brother-in-laws, and my cousins. This past weekend was my Brother in laws engagment party.

Weight loss update. I weighed 298.7 on Saturday.

This is BIG I have been fighting with the 300 mark for 3 weeks now and finally have broke through it. This means to date I have lost 61 lbs. Yes if you did the math I weighed 360. I was a fat ass and still am but am doing something about it.