Should I or not

I feel a change coming.  I just do not know if I want to take it or not.  I have fears, concerns and thoughts.  Is it the best for me?  Or not?  All these questions and no answers.  Im just going to ponder I guess.

What am I?

I think about my life and wonder what exactly am I?  I think about my friends and the people I associate with and wonder.  What am I?  How do I fit into this social thing of life?

Just last week I went and had a business conversation with a Dr.  I also hung out with a hot school principal.  At the same event I spoke with a county commissioner.

I am always around Dr.s, know some real good lawyers, business owners and I am asked opinions from these people on things that I would think they might would know.  My opinion seems to matter to these people on certain things.  I brush it off as them asking the lower class opinions on matters but I don't think that is the case.

Where do I fit in?  I have half or less of the education of most of these people.  But yet I am invited to things.  I am treated like one of them.  I am talked to like I am of the same class as them though I feel mush lower.  I just sit back and think.  What in the world?

Then I think about my poker life.  I have played with millionaires.  I am so far form a millionaire that it is pure funny.  I have played with guys that are spending there last dollar trying to win more money. Between poker and my social life I have a wide array of knowing people in all areas.  How did this happen?  Is this normal?  Do others know people as I do?  I mean do you ever just go out and have a beer with a Dr?  Or a lawyer?  Or a poker bum?  Do you get called to take trips to Vegas?  Do people call you to ask questions?  Just confusing to me because I still consider myself to be redneck trailer trash.

Some things never change

I laughed at myself today when I realized what has happened again.  We hired a guy to take care of things at one of our lots.  He is doing good don't get me wrong.  But I was handed the trash file yesterday and asked to clean it up.  Of course this always becomes my job.  I guess somethings never change.  I can handle it.  In fact I have things working on it right now.  I just laughed because I am trusted with things that I guess are the important things.

Anyway.  Playhouse has been done for sometime now.  Just needs a little trim finish but I ahve started on a lean to for the side.  I had hoped to have it ready or shingles tonight but I have abusiness meeting tonight.  So we will wait till Thursday or Friday I guess.

Other than that life is grand!

I wonder

I have quiet a few questions in my mind.  I wonder?  I guess its time to research some things.  This is going to be interesting.  To say the least.  We will see what comes out of it all.

OK

Didn't want to say anything yesterday but I felt like hell.  Still not sure exactly what it was.  It wasn't a hangover but may have been.  I guess I just need to watch my alcohol intake for a little while or something.  Either way I feel much better today and dont feel like I might die.  Hope all is well in the Blogging world.  Chat with you all later!!

Great weekend

I laugh at myself sometimes on things I do. Just had an awesome weekend.  That's all I have to say. Things are doing well and I hope the blogging world is well also.  Prayers for our country.  People get very confused on matters and blame things on everything but the source.  Its all the devil.  Our fight on this earth is not between each other.  Its us against the devil.  Till society realize this things will never change.  Love your neighbor.  Hate the way the devil can use your neighbor against you.  Some of you are not Christians that read this blog and that's ok with me.  We all have free will to take which ever path we want to.  I still love you all.

What an awesome day.

Today has just been one of those great days.  My oldest daughter has been promoted to the 6th grade.  I heard the best speech from the "HOT" principal.  Her speech was really amazing.  I found her in the halls to tell her how I needed to hear that just as much as all the kids and adults in that room needed to hear it.  After all the excitement I was ran down in the hall way by a teacher who just told me how nice of a gentleman I am.  I was so got a way with.  For her to take that time to stop and thank me and tell me that.  Restores my faith in society.  It lets me know people do see me for who I am and not for who I was or who others still think I am.  Just a great highlight of my day.  On top of all that I get to work to play boss man because my pops has been off gallivanting this week and find that I have several commission checks I wasn't expecting yet.  So I have paid all my bills for June and have money in the bank and have 2 more paychecks coming.  HUMMMMM!  I might start playing cards again. Also yesterday my pops got voted in to the position he was nominated for.  Im going to just keep flying on this high and enjoy my weekend.

A note to my self:

Always remember that one friend you have who will help you do anything.  I was in a deep conversation with a friend today and I was reminded of how some friends are.  I have a very very close friend whom I rarely talk to any more.  But I know I could call them and ask any favor and they would help.  I remember them helping me numerous times in the past.  Things I will never speak of.  We have each others backs and I plan to remind them of this very soon.  We where so close and I'm sure we still are.  Just need to let them know I am still around.  WOW to think of the things we did and all in secret.  LOL Just a side note so I never forget them. Let me be specific this has been my friend way before my affair and has nothing to do with my affair.  Do not want anyone confused.

Bigger OUT

270,000 miles

I am 30 miles form rolling over to 270,000 miles.  needed somewhere to put this.

Side note

I almost forgot.  Seems everyone is moving right along in life after my stupid mistake.  I do not ask any questions at all nor do probe for info.  I just listen for when information presents itself to me.  So glad to see it cleaning up itself.  I was and still can be a stupid fucking dumb ass bastard retard fuck.  But my mistakes and the affects they had on certain people are starting to be forgotten and people are starting over.  Its good to see.  I just wonder how many people know these things?  Its really none of my business and I will not probe as I have said before.  Just a big relief to see the healing taking place.

HOLD UP!

Whats up with this weather?  We have already had one storm this year and now there is another headed this way?  Just doing things in between showers I guess.  Really makes it hard to get things done.  That will not stop us!

I had an awesome weekend.  My baby girl smacked a softball into left center and made a double and a RBI.  It was awesome.  They also had her playing 3rd instead of first.  Smart move on the coach, I guess, she got many outs on 3rd.  I quizzed her on tag runner or the bag depending on it being a forced run or not and she knew the info already.  Just an awesome day.  The night before we where invited to a graduation party.  I really do not know how in life I ended up being able to talk and associate with all these important people in the county.  I mean there where Dr's, lawyers, business owners,  People of high statue from the county there and I was right in the mix.  Me the little oh trailer service guy.  After the party my wife and I stopped by a friends house to have a few drinks and ended up back over there later with our girls to party some more.  The funny thing to my wife and our friends was my comment.  While at this graduation party I was looking at fingers.  See it wont be to long before I have to get my prostate checked and I have picked the Dr to do it.  She is a smokin hot blond that is a Dr.  Now the reason I choose her is that she has the smallest fingers.  This is not something I look forward to by no means however it is a part of life.  Really doesn't bother me, half of the people I know have seen about every part of me anyway.

Oh I almost forgot.  Church had a bonfire and we ended up the 5 girls staying at our house.  Just a great time.  My wife and I have the hangout house for sure.  This is what we are going for.  We want a place everyone and come and hang out.  Give the kids a place.

Lastly.  I broke the tractor.  Not sure what happened exactly.  I think the water pump went out.  Either way its getting picked up today or tomorrow and we will know.  The highlight of this is we got a new mower.  And it is fun to operate.  But grass mowing will always be work to me though.  I hate grass.

Still at it.

Last night I finished pulling up the fire pit i had built years ago.  Im going to miss it but I look forward to the new things we are trying to do.  Tonight I should remove my burn barrel and that will take care of everything that is in my yard.  For the first time in a long time everything will look so clean.  After I get the burn barrel moved things will start to slow down.  I need to move in some dirt and level parts in the yard.  We are also going to try to get some better grass growing.  All this will take time.  Hopefully I will be able to start on my coop soon.  We will see.  Just have a lot going on. with all our projects.