I'm tired Boss

I am so tired.  Every since the hurricane I have been humping.  From working to dealing with Insurance to working to cleaning the shop to building a parade float. To doing a whole lot of things.  I am wore slam out. 

I built a float using my trailer and made a ginger bread house.  It looks ok.  It needs more decoration and I have my sales lady helping with that. 

Our Christmas party is Saturday night and I have been cleaning the shop for about 3 months now.  It is in great shape and I should be able to use it a lot more this winter.  We even bought a couple heaters for it. 

My wife is working 3rd shift so I rarely get to see her anymore.  Which is ok.  I do miss her but she is happy and that is what matters. 

Other than that things are great.  I am so ready for Sunday.  Everything will be over, the parade the party, my cleaning.  I have no plans for Sunday and I might just sit on my ass all day.  As I said.  I am tired Boss.  But I can see the end.

Its been a while.

I have been busy.  This damn Hurricane Florence has really screwed the Plans I had for this year.  But I am way better off than a lot of my neighbors and other towns.  So I donot want to complain.  Just figured I would get on here and take a look around and let yall know I am still alive and kicking.

Fuck Fuck Fuck

I thought shit was suppose to travel down hill.  So when I took this Manger job you would think some of the shit would be passed on to the lower people on the totem pole.  But no.  I am the fixer and I still have to fix things.  So I am the top and the bottom.  Oh well, no hill for a climber they say.

Working, Sleeping, thats about it. 

5 years

Even though its coming up on 2 years I still visit Laroo's blog.  She is an amazing painter and just an all around great person.  From what I read in her blog.  I do miss her post and the comments we would leave on each others blog.  We where kinda like pen pals.  Friends of a distance.  We would never meet in the real world but be great friends via the interweb.  With all that being said I also miss Bob at Whataboutbob.  He was a character who loved to sail on his boat, loved his music and his wife.  He was in education and was well known around his area from what I gathered reading his blog.  I just sent back to look and its been over 5 years since his last post.  I do know he has passed away now and that sucks.  Its funny how you can miss someone you never met. I guess I just miss the fun I had reading his post.  Bob I hope you are doing well and looking down on your kids and grand kids.  It just kinda hit me today.  Kinda crazy I have to say.

Rambling

Really have nothing to discuss.  just wanted to type a little.  just hanging out getting things done.  working and recitals.  this is about it.  hope to drink some beer tonight.  life goes on.  have a great weekend from Bigger

The Call

I have started to realize people cant take their own responsibility on things.  Since I am the manager now I have had to take some calls that before I would not have had to take.  This has made me realize that people just don't know.  There is a whole generation of people looking hand outs and thinking they are owed things that they are not.  If you purchase something it becomes yours.  If something breaks at the end of 5 years it is not my fault.  It is not my responsibility.  Things break and you get a 1 year warranty.  not a 5 year warranty.  I am dumbfounded on how people will call and cuss you because of things that are not in my control but are in their control.  There is a thing called maintenance that has to take place for things to work for years.  I just am so confused on how people think things through these days.  Then on top of that the lies that are told.  A lawyer?? I am so sorry I laughed at you.  But that was so funny.  Your friend said he had to get a lawyer.  Nope, the truth is we gave your friend a couple of options that where completely his decision to make.  And we did what he wanted.  No problem.  But some how the truth gets twisted around.  I just feel sorry for people having to live there life like this.  It has to be such a mundane experience. 

On another note.  I checked out at the Dr.  Nothing is wrong they say.  So we will see if it repeats it self or not.

My thoughts.

So the Dr has ran down several test on me.  From blood cultures to urine cultures to xrays and nothing seems to be out of wack.  Today I do not feel the best.  my legs feel weak and I just feel tired.  I have done nothing that should wear me down like this.  With all this being said I think it may be my heart.  I do go for another heart scan thing on Thursday.  In my mind it all makes since that it is my heart.  But who knows.  I am just putting my thoughts our there.  We will see.  Or I will die.  This is pretty much the only two options.

Is it the end?????

So I had a fever again Monday night into Tuesday.  This is at least the 3 time if not the 4th time this has happened to me this year.  So I went to the Dr yesterday.  They poked and prodded and x ray and what not.  And everything comes back normal.  So who knows what I have.  I do know I have something wrong but it will take time to pin point it.  Who knows????? I may fall over dead tomorrow. Either way I know where I will go in the afterlife.  Peace be with you all.

YES!!!!!!!

After years and years of working hard I feel things are making a move up.  I see how things are going our way and coming together.  I thank God for this all.  I see things are going to happen and now possibly faster than before.  Watch out world.  Trying to make Bigger a house hold name.

War

I am at war.  I have a mouse in my house that I can not catch.  I have 5 traps and 4 sticky traps and have yet been able to catch the son of a bitch.  I am at war.  I will prevail.

Bigger out

All over the place

Just a bunch of thoughts.  First off, have not been able to sleep these past few nights.   I do not know why but I just havent been able to.  My mind is in a million different places.

I am ready to get some things Paid off.

Its funny I say get somethings paid off but In the same breath I am wanting to buy a house. 

Just kinda out there.

Hope all is well.

poems

I use to write poems.  I kinda want to again. But I havent taken time to sit and put my mind into it.  But I might soon enough.  We will see.

Boring

I feel so bored. I need something to do.  I have no hobbies right now.  Just doing nothing.  I dont know.  I just feel something is missing.  Any one have any ideas?

Disney

We did Disney.  We scheduled a last minute trip to Disney and it was a blast.  I mean last minute for sure.  Scheduled on Monday and left on Friday.  It was fun.  That was my surprise to my girls.

ME!

I am the mother fucking man!

Last minute

I have always enjoyed flying by the seat of my pants.  Its a lot less disappointment in life.  If you plan something and it doesnt go right you feel that its bad but if you have no plans then no matter how it goes everything is fine.  This is my thought. on it.

With that being said the wife and I have had some last minute ideas and we are excited.  I will tell you all more later.  Maybe Tuesday of next week.

Celebrating

So its my birthday. I am working which is fine.  Had an awesome weekend.  This is all.

curiosity

You ever just wandered about things?  Like nothing in particular but just things.

OMG side note - my aunt is acting like a 3 year old

Ok back to typing.  Do you ever just wander.  mind lost in a fog of sorts.  Thinking on good times and bad.  Just smiling at the thoughts of stupidity.  All the drinking and gambling.  All the late nights trying to win it back.  All the times you spent what you didn't have.  Just wandering aimlessly at what might have been or what could have been or so.

I can say I am very horny.  Yes I know you all could care less.  But I am.  Don't know why but I am.  Maybe I forgot to take a pill yesterday.  I think the pills take away my sex drive.  Who knows.

Talking about things.  I have not done anything lately.  I haven't made any hooch.  I haven't played cards.  I haven't been to the casino.  I haven't done anything wrong.  I haven't flirted with a woman.  I haven't looked at another woman.  I haven't even cleaned the shop.

All my haven'ts made me thing about the fact I have quit smoking.  It was an accident.  Which people look at me funny when I say that.  But seriously I didn't want to quit.  I really miss it.  Life is so much more boring with out it.  But I guess when i see that I have saved $500 since the first of the year I guess its worth it.  I done know.  When I go out to grill I use to smoke.  It was my friend, it was my partner on the deck.  But now not so much.  I just stand there and look around.  Not as much fun.  UGH.  I don't want to go back to smoking.  I want something to replace the fun it was.

Some say curiosity killed the cat.  I think curiosity made the cat smarter.  Besides how do you learn by not being curious.  It is surely a struggle to learn with out curiosity.  I find myself curious of things but never knowing.  One day i may learn but today dosen't seem to be the day

Just Because

Things are not always as they seem.  But sometimes they are.  I feel for my buddy.  He just lost his father.  It sucks but his father is better off now.  At least I hope he is.  See he is not a Christian and it hurts me to now know where he ends up.  As for other things I guess I am okay.  Work is not easier but is doable.  Girls stay gone quiet a bit.  So I am home alone quiet a bit.  But that is okay.  I am still a dance dad. Kinda looks like I will have about 10 more years of being a dance dad.  Thats ok with me also.  I enjoy things my kids enjoy.  Had a message from a friend the other day.  That was nice.  Hadn't spoke to them in a while.  I didn't respond.  Going to sell my truck I guess.  Need to at least.  but have to get somethings fie don it first.  Been driving my dads truck lately.  Its okay.  I kinda miss my truck really.  But that is just how it is.  Any way just checking in.

I am not made for this shit.  I don't understand why people cant say things to me.  Why do things have to be done by others.  Fuck this.  I am not in a mood for it.  I am not cut out for all this.  FUCK IT ALL

Living life

I want a man cave.  I am trying to figure out how to have one.  That is all.