I guess its just life.

Ive been thinking lately about the things I have accomplished in life.  Honestly there isnt much.  I have stuck my neck out on many things just to be cut out of them and watch others benefit from my doings.  I have busted my ass on some things to just see those things get turned down because they where too risky or others thought it was a bad idea.  I feel I have always rode the coat tails of my father to get where I am.  I dont like this.  I dont like the fact that I have never accomplished something and was able to benefit or profit from what I have done.  I question what it will take in life to get someone to latch on to my ideas and help me accomplish and fulfill dreams thoughts and hopes.  Everything I have ever tried has failed.  All the way from my love life to business to just trying to have fun.  What have I missed, what happen for me to not get the help I need for things to go my way for once.  Am I just stupid? Am I an idiot? Am I unstable? I just dont understand.  When I sit and think on it there has to be something wrong with me.  When I think on it I have to have screwed up somewhere.  People come to me with things they want to do and I always try my best to think on them and try to help them figure out how to accomplish there goals.  I wish I could get the same respect from others.  I wish I had a friend like me.  I know that may sound crazy.  The only solution I have been able to come up with is to just do it on my own.  I will have to be very tight and reserved on thing.  I will have to respect my goals and meet them.  I have realized in this life I have no one to count on but me.  I am the only one that is brave enough and crazy enough to do the things in life that I want to do.  Having no support or help with these things will make this a very hard long tiring adventure but for me to ever accomplish any thing in this life I will have to tackle it alone.  I was once told it was me against the world only if I let it be that way.  That I have friends and people who care.  That is only a half true statement.  I may have people who act like they care and say they do but no one cares enough to put their selves on a ledge with me and jump to see if we can fly.  No one truly cares about me enough to take the gamble.  No one cares enough to fail with me.  No one cares enough to succeed with me.  So as this year comes to a close and everyone looks forward to there next year I will be figuring out my next great adventure and I will work my ass off right by myself and either fail or succeed.  I will not leave a stone unturned or a path untraveled.  I will finally accomplish something. I will succeed.  Mark my words I will succeed.  I will beat down every door that is closed in my face and I will continue to stumble forward until I get to a place in my life where I feel comfortable where I feel I deserve to be where I can say this was me.  I will I will.  This is my life.  God gave me a chance to walk this earth, God gave me a chance to succeed.  God has given me the things I need to succeed.  I will no longer let any one hold me back. NO ONE will stand in my way.  One day Im sure some will look back and think "I missed my opportunity" and they will be correct.  This is my life and I intend on doing as I please!  Everyone else can just kiss my ass.

That was stupid!

I got to quit playing cards, ugh

Ah Ha!

Told you I was right.  Oh good grief it feels so good.  lol I am having a great day!!!

Quote for today

"If my enemies knew all I did, I would be in jail, but if they knew what I did, they would be in jail with me."

-Bigger

Have never

I have never worked this hard in all my life.  I have shut my door and put my phone on vibrate so I can let some tension out.  First things first, yes you may be an inspector and yes I will respect you however I want you to know that you are wrong on this one and I have the information to back it up. Second, again I have never worked this much in my life.  I kinda like it.  I guess I like the feeling of pressure.  I guess thats why running a kitchen has always enticed me.   Having to push out perfect plates during rush hour is a lot of pressure and I thrive in it.  Third, had this sweet little lady call me baby this morning.  Im sure she does that to all the guys but it struck a cord with me the way she looked and said it.  She was so skinny, I mean like super skinny.  I mean like her waist was smaller than my leg.  I had a thought (because I am a man) I wonder what it would be like to get in those pants.  Would it be bony would it even be good.  There has to be only skin between her vagina and her bones.  Was just a thought, I would never do it.  I just had the thought of it.  Next I always remember asking people if they where excited about there trips they are taking and sometimes i would get an answer like. I haven't really thought about it. I understand that now.  I have so much to do before I leave that I can not think about it.  I would actually like to have an extra day to finish the things I need to do before I leave.  Oh well that wont happen.  Other than this things have been good. I have had a dream about pushing open a bathroom door... I sure hope I don't talk in my sleep...  I never thought I could be so (whats the word) aggressive??? or maybe I should say successful in fulfilling the needs of others.  I dont know it was weird and fun and I am back in hiding for sure.  I was sick Sunday night.  I dont know if I doubled up on my medicine by accident or if I was just sick.  I also sneezed 9 times last night and now I am sick with a cold.  I do have a Dr appoitment tomorrow so I will see what he says.

The last thing I will say is I am horny, and I will leave it at that.  I have no way of fixing this, in fact I only know of one way to fix it...  So I will just embrace it at this time and let my mind do the dirty deeds.

Glad to hear everyone is ok...

I heard my mistress is moving out of her house.  Thats the rumor around my house.  I guess I will find out more later.  I have got to get back to work...

...

Ok Burger King...

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - S.O.B. (Official)

Son of a Bitch



Get me a drink

boy time flies

I did not realize it has been March since I posted. Just been busy with work and softball with my oldest girl. I got a coaching spot some how. Still not sure exactly how that happened but I am happy to help all I can. Our team is pretty good for some 7 and 8 year olds. Look forward to how the season will go. Still at my old routine going to play cards tonight. Garden is growing well. I do have to laugh at a good friend of mind on this post. In NC there is a huge concert called Carolina Rebellion. Well 2 couples I know went this year. My good friend has a bucket list of bands she wants to see before she dies and 3 of them where playing at the CB this year. Well it got rained out so she only got to see one. So they proceeded to get drunk. She has pics of her husband and I at our worse (drunk). So this time he slacked off and let her go crazy. They have pics of her on the bath room floor and all passed out. LOL!!! unfortunately she got a hold of the camera and most are gone. Its just funny you have to know this crowd to understand. Hope everyone in the blogging world is doing well. Lets post a song today. Im going over to youtube and will be right back. So skip to 3:00 mins. Bradley Nowell passed on 5-25-96 I think so this goes up to him.

I have a love for playing Texas Holdem. It cost me some money but its worth it to have the mans night out. When I first started playing with the guys I play with now I made some dumb moves. I did this on purpose to give them the idea that I didn't know what I was doing. It worked that night and I pulled a third place and pocketed $200. Now that I have been playing for a while they know that Im a decent player. Most nights if I dont make the final table it is because I have been beat by a gut shot or pure luck. I did notice the other night that most players would fold if I raised because they know I only play good cards. So the bluffing started. It helped me build back up my stack some. I finished 3rd and pocketed $300 that night. All three of us went all in with pairs. I lost to one guy but beat the other. So anyway just wanted to share the one thing that I enjoy. On an exciting note I have a Vegas trip planed now with the guys I play with. It will be during the WSOP finals if I am not mistaken. They mostly party there so I will be excited to get out and drink. Always a good time in Vegas.

And they are?????

A boy and a girl. I could tell you 20 things I did wrong on this cake but for my first time making a fondant cake I was happy. I was pushed for time and was not able to do any piping which I'm sure was a good thing. Having my sister and brother in law trust me with this bit of info and the first to find out was a real treat. I had some one tell me the other day we had come so far. If you knew the history of my sister and I you would understand. So yes I will be an uncle twice. One quick funny story my baby girl was talking to my sister and asked why was the boy on that side. My sister replied and said it was because God put him there. She looked up at her as serious as she could be and said "no, Fox (brother in law nick name) put them there." So I ask this question. Is 3 years old to young to learn about the birds and the bees? Just thought it was funny.

So many things so little time.

So I have been great. Working, spending time with my kids and a little bit of poker play when I can. I have made several changes around in the past little while. For one, I no longer have TV/cable/satellite. When the wife and I split it was an expense that was not needed. Every one gives me a dumb founded look when I say I don't have TV. I quit watching the news probably over a year ago, I figured I had enough things going on in my life to not be brought down by news. Ask your self this. When was the last time you heard anything inspirational or encouraging on the news? So when then the TV was gone it was fine. Even the kids don't mention it anymore. We keep busy with other things. Another change I have had is reading. I have read more this year than in my whole life. Yes I know Harry Potter is not an educational series of books but they are great books. I'm on my last one and taking it slow because my sister told me once its over that's it there are no more :(. I do have a few books already on my kindle to read after that though. One is called Stepping Up a guide to father hood or something like that. Any way, at the mention of my sister, I am so excited to announce she is pregnant with twins. Yes you can pick yourself up off the floor. It is true. And I the big brother I am, and the one she trust, has been given the right to know the sex of both babies first and to make the reveal cake for her party. I'm so excited and scared. I plan on a 2 tier white fondant cake with pink and blue trim. I should have a picture of it to post here for all the see. With work I'm still in the new location. I'm surviving and adjusting to this change. Its growing on me. We are closer to the beach and the other morning we set a house with the slight smell of salt in the air. It was a great day and a good day. To all my blog friends I hope you are all well. I have been checking on your blogs just not been logging in to post. I just take quick sneaks when I can.