poems

I use to write poems.  I kinda want to again. But I havent taken time to sit and put my mind into it.  But I might soon enough.  We will see.

Boring

I feel so bored. I need something to do.  I have no hobbies right now.  Just doing nothing.  I dont know.  I just feel something is missing.  Any one have any ideas?

Disney

We did Disney.  We scheduled a last minute trip to Disney and it was a blast.  I mean last minute for sure.  Scheduled on Monday and left on Friday.  It was fun.  That was my surprise to my girls.

ME!

I am the mother fucking man!

Last minute

I have always enjoyed flying by the seat of my pants.  Its a lot less disappointment in life.  If you plan something and it doesnt go right you feel that its bad but if you have no plans then no matter how it goes everything is fine.  This is my thought. on it.

With that being said the wife and I have had some last minute ideas and we are excited.  I will tell you all more later.  Maybe Tuesday of next week.

Celebrating

So its my birthday. I am working which is fine.  Had an awesome weekend.  This is all.

curiosity

You ever just wandered about things?  Like nothing in particular but just things.

OMG side note - my aunt is acting like a 3 year old

Ok back to typing.  Do you ever just wander.  mind lost in a fog of sorts.  Thinking on good times and bad.  Just smiling at the thoughts of stupidity.  All the drinking and gambling.  All the late nights trying to win it back.  All the times you spent what you didn't have.  Just wandering aimlessly at what might have been or what could have been or so.

I can say I am very horny.  Yes I know you all could care less.  But I am.  Don't know why but I am.  Maybe I forgot to take a pill yesterday.  I think the pills take away my sex drive.  Who knows.

Talking about things.  I have not done anything lately.  I haven't made any hooch.  I haven't played cards.  I haven't been to the casino.  I haven't done anything wrong.  I haven't flirted with a woman.  I haven't looked at another woman.  I haven't even cleaned the shop.

All my haven'ts made me thing about the fact I have quit smoking.  It was an accident.  Which people look at me funny when I say that.  But seriously I didn't want to quit.  I really miss it.  Life is so much more boring with out it.  But I guess when i see that I have saved $500 since the first of the year I guess its worth it.  I done know.  When I go out to grill I use to smoke.  It was my friend, it was my partner on the deck.  But now not so much.  I just stand there and look around.  Not as much fun.  UGH.  I don't want to go back to smoking.  I want something to replace the fun it was.

Some say curiosity killed the cat.  I think curiosity made the cat smarter.  Besides how do you learn by not being curious.  It is surely a struggle to learn with out curiosity.  I find myself curious of things but never knowing.  One day i may learn but today dosen't seem to be the day

Just Because

Things are not always as they seem.  But sometimes they are.  I feel for my buddy.  He just lost his father.  It sucks but his father is better off now.  At least I hope he is.  See he is not a Christian and it hurts me to now know where he ends up.  As for other things I guess I am okay.  Work is not easier but is doable.  Girls stay gone quiet a bit.  So I am home alone quiet a bit.  But that is okay.  I am still a dance dad. Kinda looks like I will have about 10 more years of being a dance dad.  Thats ok with me also.  I enjoy things my kids enjoy.  Had a message from a friend the other day.  That was nice.  Hadn't spoke to them in a while.  I didn't respond.  Going to sell my truck I guess.  Need to at least.  but have to get somethings fie don it first.  Been driving my dads truck lately.  Its okay.  I kinda miss my truck really.  But that is just how it is.  Any way just checking in.

I am not made for this shit.  I don't understand why people cant say things to me.  Why do things have to be done by others.  Fuck this.  I am not in a mood for it.  I am not cut out for all this.  FUCK IT ALL

Living life

I want a man cave.  I am trying to figure out how to have one.  That is all.